Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Gift of Time

On the IPOD "Alone" by: Heart

So yesterday morning I managed to slip in an hour Nia class before starting my day of Rosh Hashanah cooking. It is weird that I am starting to look forward to it. I mean don't get me wrong working out always makes you feel good even if it hurts at the moment but for me it has always been so difficult to make it back the next day. But now that seems to be changing I mean it kind of feels like I'm giving myself a gift, the gift of time. For that hour my phone is off, I'm unreachable. It's hard because I'm the type of girl that sleeps with my phone next to me just in case there is an emergency, I freak out when my phone is running out of charge and I have literally left a grocery cart filled to the brim in the middle of a store because I realized I had left my phone in the car. Well obviously my co-dependency is coming out!! It's funny that my whole life people have referred to me as strong, tough, and independent, I have rarely felt strong, tough or independent I guess I'm a good actress.

I'm a pleaser if you haven't figured that out. I don't normally say no and I usually will not hesitate to take full blame for things just to make others happy even if it tears me up inside to not fight it. But I'm tired and I really think that I probably go to food to make myself feel better. Wow, that kind of hurt to say! So anyways not having food to go to is proving to be sort of emotionally difficult for everyone around me. I mean it's not as much affecting my relationship with mike (because I've always pretty much laid everything out there for him), but it is affecting some of my closest friendships.

I wish I could discuss what I made for Rosh Hashanah but I can't even think about food anymore... Tomorrow is going to be recipe Sunday, Ill be posting some healthy recipes I plan on trying this week. It's been a long day I was cooking at 5 am! Goodnight.

xoxo chef a

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