Saturday, October 3, 2009

Woman in the Mirror

On the IPOD "Ghost" by Indigo Girls

Do you ever look like you do in the mirror, in pictures??? I mean don't get me wrong the pictures that Lara took are beautiful and clear and perfect as far as the picture is concerned. The problem is with the subject matter. I did have to hold back tears a little bit. I mean all I could ask myself is 1. how did this happen? and 2. Can I honestly do this? It was a little discouraging if truth be told. I know it will get easier and I know the 23 1/2 pounds that I've lost are noticeable but its like a drop in the bucket!! I don't know what I was expecting...obviously to look like a super model! For the skinnys (meant in a completely loving way) out there reading this, I don't see myself in the mirror like you see me! It's different I don't know exactly how to explain it to you it's like when you notice that you have gained 5 pounds it might take me 20 pounds to really notice. And it just sneaks up on you!! I just know that I have such an incredible battle ahead of me and it's scary. This is painful and hard and I don't want to fail...

I just want to be skinny!!!! I mean really can't I just have one wish. I know, it's a little embarrassing that that would be my wish but hey there is no shame in my game!

Yesterday was an interesting day! I had two clients with small weekend menues:

First client:
Tuna Salad
Whole wheat 4 cheese and tomato pizza
Szechwan noodles (whole wheat so amazing, must find way to make more low fat working on it!)
Cheese tray with fruits
Sugar Free chocolate chip cookies

Second client "Indian Princess" campout:
3 peppercorn crusted beef tenderloins sliced
24 jalapeno cheese sausages

I met my mom for an early dinner at Houston's where we shared grilled artichokes with no butter (so much better not greasy but still great flavor) and I had grilled salmon no butter or oil with steamed broccoli not my #1 choice for Houston's but it was good. I then decided to surprise Mike with some frozen yogurt ( really mainly a surprise for me, Mike doesn't tend to get excited about food) 1. Natural with strawberries, mango, and kiwi and 2. swiss chocolate and freach espresso with raw almonds. Too bad for me, I ended up falling asleep at 8pm and slept until 7 am. Obviously I'm a party animal, so the yogurts are sitting untouched in the freezer. Who even knew I was that tired?? Anyways, well I've got to get myself beautiful for Nia class so I'll be back later...

xoxo chef a

1 comment:

Toni Tanner Scott said...

I look better in the mirror! I hate every picture of me. Funny the way we see ourselves. You are just as beautiful in person as you are in pictures.