Monday, March 1, 2010

One-Hundredth

On the IPOD "Breathe" by: Michelle Branch

Well this is my 100th post! I have tossed and turned over what I should discuss on this special day... I tried to decide if I should bring numbers back in... It's not really a secret but I want to make sure that everyone understands that this journey really has nothing to do with a number. It has to do with a feeling... I feel like I have lost 100 pounds in 100 posts. It is not all real weight... Each day that I write I lose a pound of something. Whether it is a pound of hurt, resentment, guilt, or fat, it doesn't really matter at the end of the day.

6 months ago I started a mission...

"I am on a mission to cure my personal addiction of food. I'm not on a mission to be skinny, although if that happens great! I am trying to figure out why I eat, what I eat, when I eat! It should be a journey filled with laughter, tears and probably a little self abuse."

To be honest I still have lots and lots to figure out, but I never could have imagined that I would have even figured this much out... I am a different person today! I feel strong not only in my arms and legs but most importantly in my heart. I have for once in my life surrounded myself with positive energy...

I have found AMAZING women to dance with... I have connected with friends and family in a way that I never thought was possible... I have again and again fallen deeper and deeper in love with the man that I want to share the rest of my life with...

Today I feel so incredibly blessed for giving myself the gift of 100 conversations with you and this keyboard... I am nervous and scared, but excited for the next 100.

I can't thank you enough for following me and leading me though this journey and I can only hope that you will stay and enjoy the ride.

It took a lot of thinking to find the perfect song for today, but I kept coming back to this one because I felt like the lyrics say exactly what I wanted you to hear... I obviously needed to let you in and although it's hard, if I just breathe everything will be ok...

"And I take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space in between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just Breathe"

xoxo chef a
P.S. For the record as of 9:33 pm on March 1st I have lost 49 pounds since I started this blog!! Pretty good although I have to admit I'd like to amp it up a little... You gotta have big dreams right???

1 comment:

ATR said...

Mazel tov, Amanda!! I'm so proud of you and feel so lucky and blessed to be a part of your journey and a part of your life. Love you!