Tuesday, December 22, 2009


On the IPOD, "Last Christmas" by: Glee Cast Version

Support...What exactly is support? Is support just someone being able to pick up the phone when you call or does it go deeper than that? Why is it so difficult for females to truly deep down be supportive of each other? I don't know maybe it has to do with the groundwork of competition that is set up as early as elementary school. At what moment did I become the "Fat" friend and why is it so scary for some friends if I'm not anymore?? I think in general we all set limits in our friendships. I have some friends who I expect more from and others who seem to get a "free ride". But lately things have changed some, I don't know if it is because I am actually learning how to take care of myself on the inside or if the amount of support that I am getting from you "my readers" is changing the way that I think about real friendship. To be honest it is very hard to continue a relationship with someone who refuses to be a part of the changes that I am making on a personal level. I mean this is the most important change I have made in my life. I have been completely honest with you about each step that I have gone through to untangle my internal food demons. I don't really understand why some of my closest friends refuse to read about it. What I love is the excuse, "I don't read it because I never really go on the Internet." Really....unless you are in the senior generation I don't believe you! We live our lives on the Internet. You would have to live in a bubble to not be on the Internet at least once a day. The funny thing is that I don't even expect them to read the blog everyday. Listen I know everyone is busy and although I love love love my readers who read everyday, I understand that not everyone can. All I know is that you, the ones who have sent me countless emails, comments, and phone calls, have changed my life. You have opened up with your own stories and because of that I have been able to let some more of my stories go. I can not thank you enough for the overwhelming support.

So just to catch you up with my holiday work schedule:
Monday I made....
Winter Chopped Salad
Shrimp Fajitas
Sour Cream Black Bean Enchiladas
Chicken Salad
Chicken Cacciatore
Mixed Berries
Vegetable Lentil Soup
Pan Seared Filets
Pepper Crusted Pork Tenderloin
Mashed Sweet potatoes
Rice Pilaf
Roasted Asparagus
Roasted New Potatoes
Sauteed Haricot Verts
150 Thumbprint Cookies

You tired yet...
Yesterday and Today
Caesar Salad
Spaghetti with Meatballs and Meat Sauce
Garlic Bread
Sweet and Sour Meatballs for 40
Raspberry Cheese Spread
Artichoke Dip
Black-Eyed Pea Dip
Fresh Fruit
A Turkey
Peppercorn Mustard Beef Tenderloin
Green Bean Casserole
Pumpkin Pie
4 dozen Coconut Cookies
and Countless Sugar Cookies

Even I am tired...
xoxo chef a


Anonymous said...

Hang in there-I know it can be hard when you aren't getting the support you hoped for. Those of us reading love you and are here on your journey with you. I'm sure I am not the only one who is inspired by your honesty, and dedication on this journey. You are part of the reason that I dragged my butt out of bed at 5:30 AM this morning to walk and will do so again tomorrow. Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing your heart with us.


ATR said...

I can't say that I know exactly what support is either. And for me, it's so fitting that you wrote this entry now, because I have been struggling with the same issue. Recently, I've had some stuff going on in my life that has caused me to look at my friends and think about the type of support they offer and it is a hard and sometimes disappointing road. For better or worse, it seems to be when we have major changes going on in our lives that we really find out who our true friends are. And I want you to know that even though we live so far away from each other and even though we don't talk every day, having your blog makes me feel like I'm walking this journey with you and that you are walking my journey with me. Some of my issues are weight related, as you know, and some are not. But knowing that you are no stranger to struggle, and are so supportive of me and my own struggles, is one of the most comforting things I have in my life. I love you and want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such an amazing, loyal and supportive friend. Keep up the good work and be sure to lean on those of your friends who really are supportive, every time you need them. I know I will.
- Amy

Anonymous said...

First of all, I can't believe you have to cook all of that food! That's beyond exhausting. And to think that in the middle of all of it, you are inspiring us to think before we eat the 3 chocolate covered oreo balls that I shoved in my mouth before reading your post today. I think the people that are being "unsupportive" are not doing it because they are malicious, I think many times when I watch a friend go through a change or transition, it's like a mirror for me and I start to think about my life. Should I be changing too? Should I put down the damn oreo ball - um, yes! But a lot of people are scared of the mirror - not just because of what they will see but also what they will feel. I am sorry their own journey doesn't always allow them to pause and give you the support you need but I know they love you. Happy Holidays Love, Meredith.