On the IPOD "Heartbeats" By: Jose Gonzalez
It is unfortunate that it takes horrible things to really realize how lucky we all are to still be here everyday.
I first heard about the Berry family when a very close family friend wrote on her page Sunday "Kiss ur spouse-hug ur kids! Life is so precious!" She happened to grow up with Robin Berry and had just heard of this terrible accident that has made almost everyone I know who knows about it stop in their tracks and say a little prayer.
The Berry's could be any of us... a young couple with 3 kids... While driving home from a wonderful family vacation in Colorado another car lost control and ran head-on into the Berry's minivan killing Josh and Robin instantly. The two boys ages 10 and 8 were left in critical condition requiring surgery for internal injuries and spinal issues. And the youngest 6 year old Willa was left with a broken ankle and wrist. The boys are going to need major physical therapy in Houston. There has been a fund set up through Congregation Beth Yeshurun in Houston. The link is
www.bethyeshurun.org/donations.php
The community has really pulled together for this family and there is an event tonight to light the shabbat candles in honor of the Berry Family at 8pm. We will be lighting the candles in Dallas tonight and I hope you will light them wherever you are.
If you would like to learn more about the Berry family there is alot of information as well as the links to the online funds at www.jhvonline.com
I pray that the Berry children will recover from this horrible accident both physically and emotionally and go on to make the world a better place in the face of such tragedy... my heart breaks for them.
xoxo chef a
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, July 8, 2011
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thanksgiving
On the IPOD "Put You In A Song" By: Keith Urban
Hey all I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving!!! Mine was extremely busy...
Black eyed pea dip
Artichoke dip
Butternut squash soup
Harvest salad
Cranberry orange sauce
6 turkeys in all
Traditional, Cajun, and Garlic Herb
2 Peppercorn crusted beef tenderloins
Corn bread dressing
Whipped sweet potatoes with praline topping
Mashed potatoes
Roasted potatoes
Green bean casserole
Broccoli cheese rice casserole
Haricot verts almondine
Pumpkin Ginger roll
Mixed berries
This was obviously for more than one family!!! I can't explain my joy when it was all over! Mucho thanks go out to my aunt and my mom for helping me get everything done this year!
It's very nice to know that I only have regular clients, no parties, through the end of the year, because the little boy is making it much more difficult to work.
On Friday I did just a little bit of shopping before nia and then I headed out to the art museum with my family. It was so nice to have a real day off and it felt extremely decadent.
Saturday turned into a full day with a wonderful birthday lunch for my aunt and then I hosted a Marrone family dinner to celebrate my husbands birthday on Monday.
With 6 weeks left I have definitely started nesting and really trying to get everything done.
Blogging has been more difficult because
#1 I'm exhausted
#2 I have some serious carpel tunnel from the pregnancy plus all of the cooking I do which makes my fingers numb making typing a tad difficult.
#3 I have baby brain meaning all I'm really thinking about is Levi and how uncomfortable I am making blogging more of a bitch fest!
On the weight front I have gained about 15 or 16 pounds so far. I'm sure it will go up some more and I'm ok with that...
I think it's time for a Sunday morning nap... Check in with y'all later!
xoxo chef a
P.S. I hope to post some nursery pics this week so if you are interested keep your eyes peeled!
Hey all I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving!!! Mine was extremely busy...
Black eyed pea dip
Artichoke dip
Butternut squash soup
Harvest salad
Cranberry orange sauce
6 turkeys in all
Traditional, Cajun, and Garlic Herb
2 Peppercorn crusted beef tenderloins
Corn bread dressing
Whipped sweet potatoes with praline topping
Mashed potatoes
Roasted potatoes
Green bean casserole
Broccoli cheese rice casserole
Haricot verts almondine
Pumpkin Ginger roll
Mixed berries
This was obviously for more than one family!!! I can't explain my joy when it was all over! Mucho thanks go out to my aunt and my mom for helping me get everything done this year!
It's very nice to know that I only have regular clients, no parties, through the end of the year, because the little boy is making it much more difficult to work.
On Friday I did just a little bit of shopping before nia and then I headed out to the art museum with my family. It was so nice to have a real day off and it felt extremely decadent.
Saturday turned into a full day with a wonderful birthday lunch for my aunt and then I hosted a Marrone family dinner to celebrate my husbands birthday on Monday.
With 6 weeks left I have definitely started nesting and really trying to get everything done.
Blogging has been more difficult because
#1 I'm exhausted
#2 I have some serious carpel tunnel from the pregnancy plus all of the cooking I do which makes my fingers numb making typing a tad difficult.
#3 I have baby brain meaning all I'm really thinking about is Levi and how uncomfortable I am making blogging more of a bitch fest!
On the weight front I have gained about 15 or 16 pounds so far. I'm sure it will go up some more and I'm ok with that...
I think it's time for a Sunday morning nap... Check in with y'all later!
xoxo chef a
P.S. I hope to post some nursery pics this week so if you are interested keep your eyes peeled!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Birthing Class
On the IPOD "Firework" By: Katy Perry
So Ive come to a conclusion that it is amazing I made it through high school! My attention span is terrible. I can't tell you the last time I had to sit through a class while not on ADHD meds but let's just say that the first half of birthing class was painfully difficult...
Our class started at 9 am and they consider this particular class to be the crash course on babies. We went into it knowing that it would be an all day affair and that we would leave knowing most of everything we need to at least get Levi home. I was a nanny for about 7 years until I went full time personal chef but that was a good 10 years ago so I knew I would be a tad bit rusty.
When we got to the full class we all went around and said our names, our due date, sex of baby, and name if we had it. I'm going to go ahead and say the group was definitely a mixed bunch... some married, some not, some older, and some most likely still in high school. It did make me grateful that we are at the stage in our life that we are. Everybody seemed nice enough although the guy next to Mike had I would say the worst dandruff Ive ever seen, he definitely needs a good sterilization before his child comes!
The first half of the class was about the actual birth. Breathing techniques, positions, med choices, and films and slides of what actually happens to your body. Lets just say I almost lost it when they showed what 10 cm really looks like. An anesthesiologist came to speak with us about an epidural and that might have been the best part of the first half. It was incredibly nice of him to take time to answer everyones questions.
By 12 pm I didn't know if I would be able to sit any longer...thank goodness we went on a tour of the hospital. We visited labor and delivery, the nursery, and postpartum. The teacher explained to us the importance of having everyone leave the room after the birth and giving ourselves an opportunity to breastfeed and bond until they move us to the postpartum room. After the tour we took a break for lunch.
After lunch we started on baby care. Each couple got a baby and we learned about the first bath and how to take care of the umbilical cord and circumcision site. We also learned soothing techniques, diaper duty, and swaddling. We discussed SIDS, colds, and pediatricians. And we spent a good hour talking about breastfeeding including positioning, pumping, and problems. After we cleaned up our bathing mess she passed out the CPR babies. We took turns and learned infant CPR and the Heimlich. And finish off the class by discussing car seats and baby safety.
The second part of the class was by far my favorite...I'm definitely a hands on kind of person! By the time we got home I was exhausted! Unfortunately I've been fighting with third trimester "morning sickness" and have been sick every night lately. This next week is going to be crazy. This is the last holiday I'm working before the baby comes...I swear...well for clients at least.
All in all even with the ADHD I'm so glad we went to the class. I'm so glad that I feel like a have a timeline and that I know what I need to go ahead and take care of and that I feel even more confident of my birthing decisions. Best of all Mike and I are totally on the same page as far as baby care and I feel confident that if I can't handle something at any given moment...he can. We walked in as Amanda and Mike and walked out as Team Marrone. Pretty cool if you ask me!
xoxo chef a
So Ive come to a conclusion that it is amazing I made it through high school! My attention span is terrible. I can't tell you the last time I had to sit through a class while not on ADHD meds but let's just say that the first half of birthing class was painfully difficult...
Our class started at 9 am and they consider this particular class to be the crash course on babies. We went into it knowing that it would be an all day affair and that we would leave knowing most of everything we need to at least get Levi home. I was a nanny for about 7 years until I went full time personal chef but that was a good 10 years ago so I knew I would be a tad bit rusty.
When we got to the full class we all went around and said our names, our due date, sex of baby, and name if we had it. I'm going to go ahead and say the group was definitely a mixed bunch... some married, some not, some older, and some most likely still in high school. It did make me grateful that we are at the stage in our life that we are. Everybody seemed nice enough although the guy next to Mike had I would say the worst dandruff Ive ever seen, he definitely needs a good sterilization before his child comes!
The first half of the class was about the actual birth. Breathing techniques, positions, med choices, and films and slides of what actually happens to your body. Lets just say I almost lost it when they showed what 10 cm really looks like. An anesthesiologist came to speak with us about an epidural and that might have been the best part of the first half. It was incredibly nice of him to take time to answer everyones questions.
By 12 pm I didn't know if I would be able to sit any longer...thank goodness we went on a tour of the hospital. We visited labor and delivery, the nursery, and postpartum. The teacher explained to us the importance of having everyone leave the room after the birth and giving ourselves an opportunity to breastfeed and bond until they move us to the postpartum room. After the tour we took a break for lunch.
After lunch we started on baby care. Each couple got a baby and we learned about the first bath and how to take care of the umbilical cord and circumcision site. We also learned soothing techniques, diaper duty, and swaddling. We discussed SIDS, colds, and pediatricians. And we spent a good hour talking about breastfeeding including positioning, pumping, and problems. After we cleaned up our bathing mess she passed out the CPR babies. We took turns and learned infant CPR and the Heimlich. And finish off the class by discussing car seats and baby safety.
The second part of the class was by far my favorite...I'm definitely a hands on kind of person! By the time we got home I was exhausted! Unfortunately I've been fighting with third trimester "morning sickness" and have been sick every night lately. This next week is going to be crazy. This is the last holiday I'm working before the baby comes...I swear...well for clients at least.
All in all even with the ADHD I'm so glad we went to the class. I'm so glad that I feel like a have a timeline and that I know what I need to go ahead and take care of and that I feel even more confident of my birthing decisions. Best of all Mike and I are totally on the same page as far as baby care and I feel confident that if I can't handle something at any given moment...he can. We walked in as Amanda and Mike and walked out as Team Marrone. Pretty cool if you ask me!
xoxo chef a
Friday, August 13, 2010
Drumroll Please....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It's a GIRL!
No name yet but we are working on it...
Just wanted to let you all know!
xoxo chef a
No name yet but we are working on it...
Just wanted to let you all know!
xoxo chef a
Monday, July 12, 2010
Camp Days
On the IPOD "California Girls" By: Katy Perry
So this weekend was amazing! We left Dallas on Friday night after work and got to Waco at about 11:30. My Israel trip "Garin Greene" all had met at a local bar and we were the last to arrive. There is truly nothing better than seeing faces that changed your life. Some I have not seen in 15 years, but I can honestly say that we just picked up where we had left off. There was no fakeness or power struggle, it was just old friends hanging out and talking about their lives. After about an hour at the bar we moved to the hotel and everyone came to hang out in our room. We talked and laughed till 3 in the morning!
The next morning a group of us met for breakfast at IHOP. This might have been my favorite part of the trip, we were loud and funny and real. We gave updates from friends who weren't able to get to camp. Not much has really changed except that we all grew up and most have real jobs now, some are married, some are divorced, some are still looking... a few have kids, a few are pregnant, and some are still growing up themselves. We had at least a 10 minutes discussion about the "Shake Weight" that included demonstrations. We talked about our Israel trip and who we hooked up with. We touched on politics and the real world. And we promised to meet as much as possible! At the end of breakfast we lost a couple, who had to get back and we said our goodbyes and headed to camp.
Not much has changed in Bruceville, Texas. There hasn't been any massive growth, the houses look older but pretty much the same. Camp on the other hand has changed. There are new buildings and a new courtyard, what we used to call the shortcut, which was a steep valley through the middle of camp that was covered in loose rocks and I'm sure sent a few to the infirmary, is now paved and much less steep. There is a new zip line and new lake activities and there is even a zoo! I ran around with everyone about half of the day and then I retired to the arts and crafts room to make lanyards while my husband, along with the rest of the group, went to canoe, which let me assure you was completely fine. We ate dinner and had song session and by that point I was exhausted and although I didn't want to leave everyone and I definitely didn't want to leave camp, I knew we had a long drive home. So we hugged and said our goodbyes and walked to the car while my all time favorite camp song was playing in the background. It was the perfect day!
Of course yesterday I was beat, I think I slept most of the day and only really got up to go over to my friend Amy's house for one final hang out with her and her sister Debbie, who had come in town for the reunion.
It is amazing how much one place changed my life...It is also incredible to have such a strong group of friends who are able to just pick up where they have left off. No explenations, no hard feeling, no harsh expectations, just true friendship that has lasted more than half of our lives. I hope that my kids will be able to have the opportunity to spend their summers at this amazing place in the middle of Texas. And I hope to be back in 5 years so that my four year old can experience it for the first of many times.
To all of my camp friends who have changed my life forever, there is really no way to thank you for the impact you have had in my life other than just to say that I would not be the person I am today without your friendship and I never could have asked for a better group of friends.
xoxo chef a
So this weekend was amazing! We left Dallas on Friday night after work and got to Waco at about 11:30. My Israel trip "Garin Greene" all had met at a local bar and we were the last to arrive. There is truly nothing better than seeing faces that changed your life. Some I have not seen in 15 years, but I can honestly say that we just picked up where we had left off. There was no fakeness or power struggle, it was just old friends hanging out and talking about their lives. After about an hour at the bar we moved to the hotel and everyone came to hang out in our room. We talked and laughed till 3 in the morning!
The next morning a group of us met for breakfast at IHOP. This might have been my favorite part of the trip, we were loud and funny and real. We gave updates from friends who weren't able to get to camp. Not much has really changed except that we all grew up and most have real jobs now, some are married, some are divorced, some are still looking... a few have kids, a few are pregnant, and some are still growing up themselves. We had at least a 10 minutes discussion about the "Shake Weight" that included demonstrations. We talked about our Israel trip and who we hooked up with. We touched on politics and the real world. And we promised to meet as much as possible! At the end of breakfast we lost a couple, who had to get back and we said our goodbyes and headed to camp.
Not much has changed in Bruceville, Texas. There hasn't been any massive growth, the houses look older but pretty much the same. Camp on the other hand has changed. There are new buildings and a new courtyard, what we used to call the shortcut, which was a steep valley through the middle of camp that was covered in loose rocks and I'm sure sent a few to the infirmary, is now paved and much less steep. There is a new zip line and new lake activities and there is even a zoo! I ran around with everyone about half of the day and then I retired to the arts and crafts room to make lanyards while my husband, along with the rest of the group, went to canoe, which let me assure you was completely fine. We ate dinner and had song session and by that point I was exhausted and although I didn't want to leave everyone and I definitely didn't want to leave camp, I knew we had a long drive home. So we hugged and said our goodbyes and walked to the car while my all time favorite camp song was playing in the background. It was the perfect day!
Of course yesterday I was beat, I think I slept most of the day and only really got up to go over to my friend Amy's house for one final hang out with her and her sister Debbie, who had come in town for the reunion.
It is amazing how much one place changed my life...It is also incredible to have such a strong group of friends who are able to just pick up where they have left off. No explenations, no hard feeling, no harsh expectations, just true friendship that has lasted more than half of our lives. I hope that my kids will be able to have the opportunity to spend their summers at this amazing place in the middle of Texas. And I hope to be back in 5 years so that my four year old can experience it for the first of many times.
To all of my camp friends who have changed my life forever, there is really no way to thank you for the impact you have had in my life other than just to say that I would not be the person I am today without your friendship and I never could have asked for a better group of friends.
xoxo chef a
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Baby Bump Etiquette
On the IPOD "Whattya Want From Me" by: Adam Lambert
So all of the sudden yesterday morning I woke up and was pregnant... Well to be honest it really started on Thursday night...As I was leaving my mom's house she said to me, "Oh, I see a little baby bump!" Of course the overweight girl in me came out and I was devastated...When I got home I stared in the mirror thinking, oh my goodness I'm going to have to come to grips with this because it's the first time in my life that sucking in doesn't at least work a little...
To top it off while I was looking at some baby stuff at a local store the saleswoman did the unthinkable... she touched my baby bump. I guess she was feeling for the baby... I was so taken back that I just stood there in awe that someone would actually think that this type of behavior was normal. Let me go ahead and say that it is not acceptable to touch a 3 month pregnant girl's belly. I don't even let my own husband touch my stomach let alone some stranger. I mean I know that I'm not in control of what my body does at the moment, but I would at least like to think that I can control who touches it. Maybe I'll feel different about it when I'm like 8 months pregnant but right now when I'm extremely moody, nauseous, and self conscience it could result in someone getting slapped across the face!
Sunday is my Dad's birthday, he would have been 75 years old. Mike and I are going to go visit his grave on the way to pick up the crib that I couldn't live without (obviously not from the saleswoman who touched my stomach!!) It should make everything very real! Hope everyone is having a wonderful, relaxing weekend.
xoxo chef a
So all of the sudden yesterday morning I woke up and was pregnant... Well to be honest it really started on Thursday night...As I was leaving my mom's house she said to me, "Oh, I see a little baby bump!" Of course the overweight girl in me came out and I was devastated...When I got home I stared in the mirror thinking, oh my goodness I'm going to have to come to grips with this because it's the first time in my life that sucking in doesn't at least work a little...
To top it off while I was looking at some baby stuff at a local store the saleswoman did the unthinkable... she touched my baby bump. I guess she was feeling for the baby... I was so taken back that I just stood there in awe that someone would actually think that this type of behavior was normal. Let me go ahead and say that it is not acceptable to touch a 3 month pregnant girl's belly. I don't even let my own husband touch my stomach let alone some stranger. I mean I know that I'm not in control of what my body does at the moment, but I would at least like to think that I can control who touches it. Maybe I'll feel different about it when I'm like 8 months pregnant but right now when I'm extremely moody, nauseous, and self conscience it could result in someone getting slapped across the face!
Sunday is my Dad's birthday, he would have been 75 years old. Mike and I are going to go visit his grave on the way to pick up the crib that I couldn't live without (obviously not from the saleswoman who touched my stomach!!) It should make everything very real! Hope everyone is having a wonderful, relaxing weekend.
xoxo chef a
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Missing Someone...
On the IPOD "Someone to Watch Over Me" By: Renee Olstead
Holidays are a funny thing... You can try as hard as you want to make it "a different kind of special" after someone is gone, but I think most of the time it just ends up being different.
Today we spent Father's Day at my sister-in-law's house with my in-laws, who I absolutely adore, but unfortunately it just wasn't a good day for me. First of all I don't feel good, I'm tired, and I'm throwing up constantly. On top of all that joy I'm an emotional wreck...I cry at almost every commercial, I actually had a mini breakdown in a baby store over their unfortunate selection of baby furniture on Saturday and today I realized that selfishly the only person I really want to hang out with on Father's Day is my own father. I'm fully aware that next year will be different because we will have a baby and Mike will be a Dad, but as far as today is concerned...I'm over it!
I can't help but feel horribly angry and sad that my Dad is not here... And I still can't believe that he will never really know his grandchild and that he is not here to remind me after a bad day that everything will be okay. I wish I could say that just being with Mike's dad was enough, but it wasn't. I thought about how weird it is that both my brothers and my mom are off doing others things with other people all with the constant reminder that just two years ago this day was so different. Not a sad day but a day to celebrate our Dad.
Maybe I would feel different about it if I was older or my dad had been older when he died, but because I wasn't and he wasn't, it sort of still feels like he was stolen from my life. I actually thought in my head today will there ever be a happy new occasion that isn't sort of stained by the fact that he is not here to share it with us... I'm pretty sure that the answer is no and I guess I'm okay with that because I would rather it be a little sad and be able to remember him than to just forget and move on.
I do hope that all of the father's out there had a wonderful day and to all of you in my position I hope you were able to remember all of the special things that made your dad the best dad in the world!
xoxo chef a
Holidays are a funny thing... You can try as hard as you want to make it "a different kind of special" after someone is gone, but I think most of the time it just ends up being different.
Today we spent Father's Day at my sister-in-law's house with my in-laws, who I absolutely adore, but unfortunately it just wasn't a good day for me. First of all I don't feel good, I'm tired, and I'm throwing up constantly. On top of all that joy I'm an emotional wreck...I cry at almost every commercial, I actually had a mini breakdown in a baby store over their unfortunate selection of baby furniture on Saturday and today I realized that selfishly the only person I really want to hang out with on Father's Day is my own father. I'm fully aware that next year will be different because we will have a baby and Mike will be a Dad, but as far as today is concerned...I'm over it!
I can't help but feel horribly angry and sad that my Dad is not here... And I still can't believe that he will never really know his grandchild and that he is not here to remind me after a bad day that everything will be okay. I wish I could say that just being with Mike's dad was enough, but it wasn't. I thought about how weird it is that both my brothers and my mom are off doing others things with other people all with the constant reminder that just two years ago this day was so different. Not a sad day but a day to celebrate our Dad.
Maybe I would feel different about it if I was older or my dad had been older when he died, but because I wasn't and he wasn't, it sort of still feels like he was stolen from my life. I actually thought in my head today will there ever be a happy new occasion that isn't sort of stained by the fact that he is not here to share it with us... I'm pretty sure that the answer is no and I guess I'm okay with that because I would rather it be a little sad and be able to remember him than to just forget and move on.
I do hope that all of the father's out there had a wonderful day and to all of you in my position I hope you were able to remember all of the special things that made your dad the best dad in the world!
xoxo chef a
Monday, May 24, 2010
Car Sick
On the IPOD "If You See Him, If You See Her" by: Reba McEntire & Brooks & Dunn
There is nothing better than a music special on T.V. after a very long weekend! Sorry to everyone all wrapped up in "Lost" but it's just not my thing!
So we went to Austin this weekend for the memorial service for our friend Eric. To be honest it was incredibly difficult... First of all the normally short not even 3 hour drive seemed to drag on forever. And then once we were there, there was no shortage of tears. It is heartbreaking to see the men who are usually so strong in your life in tears. There was definitely nothing fun about the trip but I'm so glad we went.
Unfortunately the overwhelming emotions plus the car ride plus the mexican brunch added up to one car sick girl! Ugh! There is nothing cute about a sick wife. I don't care what anyone says, there are just somethings that your husband should not know about. And stomach sickness either way is #1 on the list! I'm feeling much better...I almost kissed the ground when the car stopped!
I'm working this morning and then going to a very sad (Boo!) going away lunch for one of my favorite girls Susie (She is just going to the shore for the summer but still three months is a long time.) And then I'm going to try and rest the remainder of the day, that should be an interesting task!
Here is the menu for today:
Turkey Meatballs with
Sauteed Mushroom Medley
Turkey Tacos with all the fixins &
Spinach Souffle
Miso Glazed Salmon and
"Mock" Vegetable Fried Rice
Peppered Beef Sliders with
Sweet Potato Fries
Barbecued Chicken with
Grilled Corn
Tonight I'm going to work on a new summer menu of healthy snacks to have in you fridge, I'll let you know what I come up with...If you have any ideas post them to the blog.
If you are having trouble posting comments to the blog please email me at AmandaM037@aol.com and I will help you!
xoxo chef a
There is nothing better than a music special on T.V. after a very long weekend! Sorry to everyone all wrapped up in "Lost" but it's just not my thing!
So we went to Austin this weekend for the memorial service for our friend Eric. To be honest it was incredibly difficult... First of all the normally short not even 3 hour drive seemed to drag on forever. And then once we were there, there was no shortage of tears. It is heartbreaking to see the men who are usually so strong in your life in tears. There was definitely nothing fun about the trip but I'm so glad we went.
Unfortunately the overwhelming emotions plus the car ride plus the mexican brunch added up to one car sick girl! Ugh! There is nothing cute about a sick wife. I don't care what anyone says, there are just somethings that your husband should not know about. And stomach sickness either way is #1 on the list! I'm feeling much better...I almost kissed the ground when the car stopped!
I'm working this morning and then going to a very sad (Boo!) going away lunch for one of my favorite girls Susie (She is just going to the shore for the summer but still three months is a long time.) And then I'm going to try and rest the remainder of the day, that should be an interesting task!
Here is the menu for today:
Turkey Meatballs with
Sauteed Mushroom Medley
Turkey Tacos with all the fixins &
Spinach Souffle
Miso Glazed Salmon and
"Mock" Vegetable Fried Rice
Peppered Beef Sliders with
Sweet Potato Fries
Barbecued Chicken with
Grilled Corn
Tonight I'm going to work on a new summer menu of healthy snacks to have in you fridge, I'll let you know what I come up with...If you have any ideas post them to the blog.
If you are having trouble posting comments to the blog please email me at AmandaM037@aol.com and I will help you!
xoxo chef a
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Dangerous Words
ON the IPOD "Take Everything" by: Greg Laswell
So I've been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to discuss this but it has turned into me feeling like I'm holding it in and we all know that that path tends to end up in my kitchen so I decided to discuss it.
I'm going to start out be saying that my brothers are truly two of my very best friends. We have obviously been through every detail of our lives together... and I love them dearly. But I would be lying if I said that I have never been jealous of them... They have never had a weight problem... and they have always had a choice on what family activities to be involved with (and I'm not talking about the good activities, I'm talking about doctors appointments, hospice calls, taking care of business activities that no one wants to do.) I am by no means saying that they have never done anything... I'm just saying that the responsibilities of a daughter are different than a son.
The reason I need to bring all this up is not to bash them in anyway, it is mainly to show you how dangerous words are...
About 3 years ago, during a time in which my father was very ill, the three of us with our respective partners at the time and I would say 3-4 of my closest friends were hanging out at a bar called "Meridian Room" in Dallas. The subject came up that I, except for some awesome trips, have lived here. I went to college here and I stayed here.
My brother Andrew started in on me saying that I've never explored the world or lived my life...and that all I do is take care of our Mom and Dad... The lecture went on to include my weight! I was risking my health and not thinking of him or the rest of my family. To tell you the truth it is hard for me to remember past the outburst of crying that night but I remember words like unhealthy, disappointment, overweight, embarrassment, bad choices... To have this said to me in front of my family and my closest friends was probably one of the lowest points of my life. I felt abused and attacked! I think the episode ended when somebody finally turned to him and said "Enough!"
The thing is that it was hard for me to get defensive about it. I did stay in Dallas because my Dad was sick... it was also because I met Mike and there were more business opportunities here at the time. But to tell you the truth, I don't have regrets about that...I would have had regrets about not seeing my Dad everyday, I would have regretted not getting to grow up with Mike, I would have regretted not having some of the most incredible culinary teachers and I would have regretted not building a friendship with my mom (I was pretty much a pain in high school). On the issue of my weight...what was I supposed to say ... "you're wrong!" Obviously he was right, I was overweight and I still am. But does he even have the slightest clue whats it's like...NO! Did he understand that my weight defined me growing up? Did he understand that I felt trapped by it?? Did I as a child decide, well obviously the way I want to deal with my emotions is by eating??? I'm going to go ahead and say no...
But me bawling in the middle of a bar surrounded by family and friends was not exactly the most constructive way to bring up any issues he had with my choices...
What my brothers don't understand about my choice to be here, is all the stuff that is taken care of behind the scenes while they play. They don't know about the sick days, medical procedures, birthday parties, mothers day brunches, good days, bad days, sad days, and days when my mom's t.v. doesn't work. To tell you the truth I used to be mad about it (honestly sometimes I still am), but now I just feel sorry for them because they are missing out on her. And I am lucky enough to really know her...
I don't know why brothers and sisters are so critical of each other. Maybe it has to with loving a person so much that you feel like its safe. I, of course, forgave my brother for his outburst as I am sure he has forgiven me for things I have said. Because at the end of the day I know that he loves me and I love him, but it did effect my brain. It made me doubt myself, and I think of it often...
My brothers will never truly understand what it is like to be the daughter...They will also never understand what it was like to grow up as a chubby little girl with two older brothers that ate whatever they wanted and never gained a pound. Even though we grew up under the same roof at the very same time, our stories are so different which makes us kind of different and I guess that is what makes a family... A group of very different people, bound by blood...
xoxo chef a
So I've been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to discuss this but it has turned into me feeling like I'm holding it in and we all know that that path tends to end up in my kitchen so I decided to discuss it.
I'm going to start out be saying that my brothers are truly two of my very best friends. We have obviously been through every detail of our lives together... and I love them dearly. But I would be lying if I said that I have never been jealous of them... They have never had a weight problem... and they have always had a choice on what family activities to be involved with (and I'm not talking about the good activities, I'm talking about doctors appointments, hospice calls, taking care of business activities that no one wants to do.) I am by no means saying that they have never done anything... I'm just saying that the responsibilities of a daughter are different than a son.
The reason I need to bring all this up is not to bash them in anyway, it is mainly to show you how dangerous words are...
About 3 years ago, during a time in which my father was very ill, the three of us with our respective partners at the time and I would say 3-4 of my closest friends were hanging out at a bar called "Meridian Room" in Dallas. The subject came up that I, except for some awesome trips, have lived here. I went to college here and I stayed here.
My brother Andrew started in on me saying that I've never explored the world or lived my life...and that all I do is take care of our Mom and Dad... The lecture went on to include my weight! I was risking my health and not thinking of him or the rest of my family. To tell you the truth it is hard for me to remember past the outburst of crying that night but I remember words like unhealthy, disappointment, overweight, embarrassment, bad choices... To have this said to me in front of my family and my closest friends was probably one of the lowest points of my life. I felt abused and attacked! I think the episode ended when somebody finally turned to him and said "Enough!"
The thing is that it was hard for me to get defensive about it. I did stay in Dallas because my Dad was sick... it was also because I met Mike and there were more business opportunities here at the time. But to tell you the truth, I don't have regrets about that...I would have had regrets about not seeing my Dad everyday, I would have regretted not getting to grow up with Mike, I would have regretted not having some of the most incredible culinary teachers and I would have regretted not building a friendship with my mom (I was pretty much a pain in high school). On the issue of my weight...what was I supposed to say ... "you're wrong!" Obviously he was right, I was overweight and I still am. But does he even have the slightest clue whats it's like...NO! Did he understand that my weight defined me growing up? Did he understand that I felt trapped by it?? Did I as a child decide, well obviously the way I want to deal with my emotions is by eating??? I'm going to go ahead and say no...
But me bawling in the middle of a bar surrounded by family and friends was not exactly the most constructive way to bring up any issues he had with my choices...
What my brothers don't understand about my choice to be here, is all the stuff that is taken care of behind the scenes while they play. They don't know about the sick days, medical procedures, birthday parties, mothers day brunches, good days, bad days, sad days, and days when my mom's t.v. doesn't work. To tell you the truth I used to be mad about it (honestly sometimes I still am), but now I just feel sorry for them because they are missing out on her. And I am lucky enough to really know her...
I don't know why brothers and sisters are so critical of each other. Maybe it has to with loving a person so much that you feel like its safe. I, of course, forgave my brother for his outburst as I am sure he has forgiven me for things I have said. Because at the end of the day I know that he loves me and I love him, but it did effect my brain. It made me doubt myself, and I think of it often...
My brothers will never truly understand what it is like to be the daughter...They will also never understand what it was like to grow up as a chubby little girl with two older brothers that ate whatever they wanted and never gained a pound. Even though we grew up under the same roof at the very same time, our stories are so different which makes us kind of different and I guess that is what makes a family... A group of very different people, bound by blood...
xoxo chef a
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