On the IPOD "Picture Window" By: Ben Folds and Nick Hornby
Something happens when you are pregnant... that thing in your brain that makes you stay calm and relaxed goes out the door and those who say obnoxious things to you take the chance of getting an earful in exchange. I guess you could call it...losing your internal filter. I can't even tell you the amount of times in the last week that I have just sort of lost it. I wish I could say that I want my filter back but I really don't... I really believe that most of society really needs to evaluate the garbage that comes out of their mouth and if it takes a baby boy who is sitting on my sciatic nerve to help me not take crap from people then I guess it's all worth it! :)
On a side note we went to the opening day at the state fair on Friday. A couple of interesting things happened...The first thing is that nothing really even sounded good to eat except of course for my favorite popsicle the "Nestle triple blast". They are huge and I had two! The second thing is that as if it happened over night my usually gracefull stride has taken a more waddle like appearance which honestly I'm not too thrilled about, but I guess it is just part of the fun! So I will just keep on waddling!
I am officially past the 6 month mark so just another 15 weeks until Baby Marrone is here! It really has gone by fast even if it feels like an eternity at the moment. I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday and I promise to try and control my rage against the nation...well unless someone says the wrong thing :)
xoxo chef a
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The packed away 12-string
On the IPOD "Danny's Song" By: Kenny Loggins
Lately I have spent an odd amount of time thinking about who my son will be... Wondering what he will be like and what will be important to him. At the same time I have had this need to pick up my guitar again... I think I set it down the day that I decided to leave music school and become a chef. I'm not exactly sure why I felt the need to give it up just so that I could start a new journey, but I did.
I'm not going to lie, my heart broke just a little bit that day... I think I really believed that I was supposed to be the next best thing... that some music executive was going to suddenly walk into the coffee shop and find me there... But instead I was busting my butt in a music class with 1500 other kids trying to become the next underpaid music teacher. At the time it was just easier to put the guitar back in its case and push it to the back of the room.
Over the last 10 years, I've picked it up from time to time and maybe even played a little with all of the doors shut... but there hasn't been any public acknowledgement of my entire high school identity... So the question is... why now when fitting a guitar in front of this baby belly is a challenge does it seem so important to pick up where I left off???
Something tells me that maybe this little boy has something to do with it... I have this overwhelming desire to share that part of my life with him...not so that one day he will become what I always thought I wanted to be but just because I don't want to have to tell him one day that his mom used to know how to play the guitar and that she doesn't play anymore because she didn't get the outcome she wanted so she just gave up. Maybe I never learned to play so that I would become the next singer/songwriter. Maybe the whole reason was so that one day when my child was screaming in the middle of the night I could pick it up and soothe him back to sleep. All I know is that I'm tired of starring at it in the case and I'm ready to find out what it means to me now...at this stage of my life.
xoxo chef a
Lately I have spent an odd amount of time thinking about who my son will be... Wondering what he will be like and what will be important to him. At the same time I have had this need to pick up my guitar again... I think I set it down the day that I decided to leave music school and become a chef. I'm not exactly sure why I felt the need to give it up just so that I could start a new journey, but I did.
I'm not going to lie, my heart broke just a little bit that day... I think I really believed that I was supposed to be the next best thing... that some music executive was going to suddenly walk into the coffee shop and find me there... But instead I was busting my butt in a music class with 1500 other kids trying to become the next underpaid music teacher. At the time it was just easier to put the guitar back in its case and push it to the back of the room.
Over the last 10 years, I've picked it up from time to time and maybe even played a little with all of the doors shut... but there hasn't been any public acknowledgement of my entire high school identity... So the question is... why now when fitting a guitar in front of this baby belly is a challenge does it seem so important to pick up where I left off???
Something tells me that maybe this little boy has something to do with it... I have this overwhelming desire to share that part of my life with him...not so that one day he will become what I always thought I wanted to be but just because I don't want to have to tell him one day that his mom used to know how to play the guitar and that she doesn't play anymore because she didn't get the outcome she wanted so she just gave up. Maybe I never learned to play so that I would become the next singer/songwriter. Maybe the whole reason was so that one day when my child was screaming in the middle of the night I could pick it up and soothe him back to sleep. All I know is that I'm tired of starring at it in the case and I'm ready to find out what it means to me now...at this stage of my life.
xoxo chef a
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Shopping...
On the IPOD "A Little Bit Stronger" By: Sara Evans
Sorry I've been MIA this weekend but to tell you the truth I was slightly overwhelmed with cooking for Yom Kippur (Probably the most important Jewish holiday!) I'm starting to realize that I'm going to have to really be selective and slow down over Thanksgiving and the December Holidays and mainly just focus on my regular clients... that should go over well!
On another note I finally bit the bullet and took my first trip to the maternity store... I was pleasantly surprised when I tried on my pre-pregnancy jean size and they ended up being 2 sizes too big and not in the places that I will grow while pregnant. The funny thing is that when I tried them on the sales lady said, "Wow, those are way too big you need a smaller size." I'm going to go ahead and say that that was the first time that I've ever heard that statement! When the lower sized jeans didn't come in the right color I realized how ridiculous I was being in the first place... There is no way that I'm going to wear maternity jeans I don't even own a pair of regular jeans so I don't really know what I was thinking... Instead I ended up with a super cute pair of bootcut black pants (in the smaller size!) and a black dress for special occasions. Besides that I'm just going to wear the heck out of my stretchy black yoga and Nia pants and some simple black camisoles with wraps and sweaters.
The greatest part of this coming week is that The State Fair of Texas opens on Friday! I cant wait to be out there with good friends and I'm hoping Baby Marrone will cooperate... I'm not going to be stupid though...I'm taking my own car, I'm going to drink lots of water, and I will try to stay indoors most of the day.
I can't believe I am 6 months preggers and only have 4 months to go! It's just crazy before I know it I will be posting baby pics and discussing spit up. Oh and I will gladly return to my weightloss struggles!
I hope everyone has a perfect Monday and now that the holidays are over for awhile I should be posting more regularly!
xoxo chef a
Sorry I've been MIA this weekend but to tell you the truth I was slightly overwhelmed with cooking for Yom Kippur (Probably the most important Jewish holiday!) I'm starting to realize that I'm going to have to really be selective and slow down over Thanksgiving and the December Holidays and mainly just focus on my regular clients... that should go over well!
On another note I finally bit the bullet and took my first trip to the maternity store... I was pleasantly surprised when I tried on my pre-pregnancy jean size and they ended up being 2 sizes too big and not in the places that I will grow while pregnant. The funny thing is that when I tried them on the sales lady said, "Wow, those are way too big you need a smaller size." I'm going to go ahead and say that that was the first time that I've ever heard that statement! When the lower sized jeans didn't come in the right color I realized how ridiculous I was being in the first place... There is no way that I'm going to wear maternity jeans I don't even own a pair of regular jeans so I don't really know what I was thinking... Instead I ended up with a super cute pair of bootcut black pants (in the smaller size!) and a black dress for special occasions. Besides that I'm just going to wear the heck out of my stretchy black yoga and Nia pants and some simple black camisoles with wraps and sweaters.
The greatest part of this coming week is that The State Fair of Texas opens on Friday! I cant wait to be out there with good friends and I'm hoping Baby Marrone will cooperate... I'm not going to be stupid though...I'm taking my own car, I'm going to drink lots of water, and I will try to stay indoors most of the day.
I can't believe I am 6 months preggers and only have 4 months to go! It's just crazy before I know it I will be posting baby pics and discussing spit up. Oh and I will gladly return to my weightloss struggles!
I hope everyone has a perfect Monday and now that the holidays are over for awhile I should be posting more regularly!
xoxo chef a
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
What a pain in the leg...
On the IPOD "Parachute" By: Ingrid Michaelson
To be honest I'm having a rough week... My work load is at an all time high, which is great financially but I'm having a major issue with sciatica. If you are unaware of what sciatica is, it is pain caused by nerve compression in the lower spine. Mine unfortunately has taken root in my left thigh and I have to admit that I actually considered ripping my leg off yesterday. It feels like my leg is on fire on the inside... Anyways besides being a pain during the work day it is also making Nia a bit of a challenge. Last night I found myself limping to bed while questioning how I'm going to make it through the holidays without slowing down.
My doctor suggested I get a pregnancy harness, it's like a bra for your growing belly that supposedly really helps woman who stand alot. Let's just say it isn't super sexy... but I guess if it works then it might just be the sexiest thing in the world. And since we are discussing bellies, mine has surpassed my boobs... I mean it is like it happened overnight...I mean I looked in the mirror in Nia last night and I swear it looked like I was carrying a line backer! I know those of you who have been through this before are probably saying..."Just wait!" but for me this is a very new thing and I can't even fathom what my tummy will look like in the next 4 months.
Anyways I'm really hoping that the harness thing works because if not I might just have to learn how to cook and dance from a seated position! Well since I fell asleep in the middle of writing this, it is unfortunately work time again. Ugh!
xoxo chef a
To be honest I'm having a rough week... My work load is at an all time high, which is great financially but I'm having a major issue with sciatica. If you are unaware of what sciatica is, it is pain caused by nerve compression in the lower spine. Mine unfortunately has taken root in my left thigh and I have to admit that I actually considered ripping my leg off yesterday. It feels like my leg is on fire on the inside... Anyways besides being a pain during the work day it is also making Nia a bit of a challenge. Last night I found myself limping to bed while questioning how I'm going to make it through the holidays without slowing down.
My doctor suggested I get a pregnancy harness, it's like a bra for your growing belly that supposedly really helps woman who stand alot. Let's just say it isn't super sexy... but I guess if it works then it might just be the sexiest thing in the world. And since we are discussing bellies, mine has surpassed my boobs... I mean it is like it happened overnight...I mean I looked in the mirror in Nia last night and I swear it looked like I was carrying a line backer! I know those of you who have been through this before are probably saying..."Just wait!" but for me this is a very new thing and I can't even fathom what my tummy will look like in the next 4 months.
Anyways I'm really hoping that the harness thing works because if not I might just have to learn how to cook and dance from a seated position! Well since I fell asleep in the middle of writing this, it is unfortunately work time again. Ugh!
xoxo chef a
Friday, September 10, 2010
The First Year....
On the IPOD "Breathe Again" By: Sara Bareilles
(Sorry to repeat the artist two posts in a row, but the album is just tooo good!)
The last three days have been rough! Who knew a knee replacement surgery was maybe one of the hardest surgeries ever. My mom's pain threshold is extremely high and yet the pain put her in tears. I'm just glad to be past day three! Thanks for all of your comments on facebook wishing her well!
Anyhow I left the last blog asking you who your worst critic is....the reason I asked is because when I was hangin with a couple of my favorite girls last week we were pretty much discussing how much "body hate" is ok. I know it seems weird to put it like that...I'm mean in a perfect world we would love our body no matter what, but yet our world is far from perfect.
Over the last year many things have changed in my life. A year ago I started this blog...I have relinquished almost all of my secrets to maybe get to a point that I would have to be completely honest with myself. In the process, I lost 60 pounds in 6 months and then after a year of trying, I got pregnant with the help of the best doctor ever, some lovely hormones, a husband, a veterinarian, and a relaxing trip to Rosemary Beach. It takes a village! Believe me when I say, I still have a ways to go on the weight loss front and it will be confronted as soon as this little boy is born, but the question still lingers over my head... Is my relationship with my own body healthier than it was a year ago???? That's a hard one...in many ways I would say yes, but yet even at 5 1/2 months pregnant, the 4 1/2 pounds that I've gained are still difficult and it's hard for my to not jump off the scale and watch every bite I take in complete and utter disgust. It seems that the line between being an over eater and being a fanatical weight watcher is getting thinner and thinner.
There was a time when I would have said that the people around me were my worst critics... but that has definitely changed I have realized that yes their comments were harmful to me and might have even exposed me to the news that I was heavier than the other kids, but it was me who turned their comments into a minute by minute battle within myself. If I continue to put the blame on them...I'll never really be able to have the control. And isn't that what I'm really searching for???? Whether I'm controlling myself by eating a snickers bar under my covers or looking up the calorie count of a restaurant menu before we go out to eat, it seems that what I'm really trying to feel is control. I have to say that's one of the most difficult parts about being pregnant... I really never have the control. Which could possibly put me in a tail spin when the baby comes and then my weight ends up being the only part of my life I can control...
I guess my conclusion is that this blog has saved my life! Not only in health, but by giving me the best gift ever and that is the line between my brain, my fingers, this keyboard, and you... Whether you are reading because you've known me my whole life and you find this window as a guilty pleasure or because you have no idea who the heck I am but maybe we share something beyond our place in this world. I thank you for listening and for your comments and for your good karma. And I hope one day to say that I have a good mixture of really healthy self love with a little bit of good old "body hate." I mean I wouldn't want to be plastic...
So to the next year....
xoxo chef a
(Sorry to repeat the artist two posts in a row, but the album is just tooo good!)
The last three days have been rough! Who knew a knee replacement surgery was maybe one of the hardest surgeries ever. My mom's pain threshold is extremely high and yet the pain put her in tears. I'm just glad to be past day three! Thanks for all of your comments on facebook wishing her well!
Anyhow I left the last blog asking you who your worst critic is....the reason I asked is because when I was hangin with a couple of my favorite girls last week we were pretty much discussing how much "body hate" is ok. I know it seems weird to put it like that...I'm mean in a perfect world we would love our body no matter what, but yet our world is far from perfect.
Over the last year many things have changed in my life. A year ago I started this blog...I have relinquished almost all of my secrets to maybe get to a point that I would have to be completely honest with myself. In the process, I lost 60 pounds in 6 months and then after a year of trying, I got pregnant with the help of the best doctor ever, some lovely hormones, a husband, a veterinarian, and a relaxing trip to Rosemary Beach. It takes a village! Believe me when I say, I still have a ways to go on the weight loss front and it will be confronted as soon as this little boy is born, but the question still lingers over my head... Is my relationship with my own body healthier than it was a year ago???? That's a hard one...in many ways I would say yes, but yet even at 5 1/2 months pregnant, the 4 1/2 pounds that I've gained are still difficult and it's hard for my to not jump off the scale and watch every bite I take in complete and utter disgust. It seems that the line between being an over eater and being a fanatical weight watcher is getting thinner and thinner.
There was a time when I would have said that the people around me were my worst critics... but that has definitely changed I have realized that yes their comments were harmful to me and might have even exposed me to the news that I was heavier than the other kids, but it was me who turned their comments into a minute by minute battle within myself. If I continue to put the blame on them...I'll never really be able to have the control. And isn't that what I'm really searching for???? Whether I'm controlling myself by eating a snickers bar under my covers or looking up the calorie count of a restaurant menu before we go out to eat, it seems that what I'm really trying to feel is control. I have to say that's one of the most difficult parts about being pregnant... I really never have the control. Which could possibly put me in a tail spin when the baby comes and then my weight ends up being the only part of my life I can control...
I guess my conclusion is that this blog has saved my life! Not only in health, but by giving me the best gift ever and that is the line between my brain, my fingers, this keyboard, and you... Whether you are reading because you've known me my whole life and you find this window as a guilty pleasure or because you have no idea who the heck I am but maybe we share something beyond our place in this world. I thank you for listening and for your comments and for your good karma. And I hope one day to say that I have a good mixture of really healthy self love with a little bit of good old "body hate." I mean I wouldn't want to be plastic...
So to the next year....
xoxo chef a
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A Sweet New Year!
On the IPOD "Kaleidoscipe Heart" By: Sara Bareilles
So this is going to be short and sweet mainly because it is the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah and I'm slammed! On top of that I'm sitting in the waiting room at the hospital because my mom is having a knee replacement... This is my menu for the holiday for four different families...
27 pounds of Balsamic Braised Short Ribs
40 pounds of Roasted Brisket
16 pounds of Baked Chicken Drumettes
30 pounds Roasted Chicken
Sweet Potato Tzimmes
Green Bean Casserole
Spinach Soufflé
Roasted Carrots and Potatoes
Roasted New Potatoes
Israeli Couscous
Sweet Peas
Apples and Honey
Low Fat Blueberry Cheesecake
Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cake
Fresh Berry Triffle
Oy Vay! I sure hope I can fit everything in!
To the Jew Crew, I hope you have a wonderful and extra sweet new year!
I'm going to leave you with a question or a thought to be discussed at the next post....
Who is the your worst critic? And what role does it play in your everyday life?
P.S. This is the one year anniversary of my blog... I have not forgotten and tomorrow's post will reflect that!
Xoxo chef a
So this is going to be short and sweet mainly because it is the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah and I'm slammed! On top of that I'm sitting in the waiting room at the hospital because my mom is having a knee replacement... This is my menu for the holiday for four different families...
27 pounds of Balsamic Braised Short Ribs
40 pounds of Roasted Brisket
16 pounds of Baked Chicken Drumettes
30 pounds Roasted Chicken
Sweet Potato Tzimmes
Green Bean Casserole
Spinach Soufflé
Roasted Carrots and Potatoes
Roasted New Potatoes
Israeli Couscous
Sweet Peas
Apples and Honey
Low Fat Blueberry Cheesecake
Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cake
Fresh Berry Triffle
Oy Vay! I sure hope I can fit everything in!
To the Jew Crew, I hope you have a wonderful and extra sweet new year!
I'm going to leave you with a question or a thought to be discussed at the next post....
Who is the your worst critic? And what role does it play in your everyday life?
P.S. This is the one year anniversary of my blog... I have not forgotten and tomorrow's post will reflect that!
Xoxo chef a
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Deep breaths
On the IPOD "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" By: The Smiths
How is it possible that I could love a man so much yet be on such a different page regarding our child's name??
This question has unfortunately left me in tears for the better part of two day... I'm sure it is not the only thing...it is a mixture of hormones, pressure, and of course some body image issues all rolled up together...
But I'm pretty sure I've got a problem when it's midnight and I'm typing into "Google", "Is it normal to be crying so much at 5 months pregnant?"
This morning, crying was pretty much the first thing I did...I don't really know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself to find this perfect name that makes our entire family happy and that honors all the people we are supposed to... At first I thought that by honoring someone in my son's name it will somehow help him to remember the great men who came before him, but in realty our son will know the great men because we will take time to tell him stories about them. By using someone's name it is not like it somehow brings them back, but yet it still pulls at my heartstrings to not do it. Mike on the other hand thinks that our child deserves his own identity with no connection to anyone or anything (well except when we thought it was a girl because then all of the sudden "Sofia Vergara" sounded like a perfect name! Just kidding, kind of...). The hard part is that I do want my child to have his own identity, but I think there can be a compromise. I guess we will see what happens...
I'm going to try to de-stress myself at Nia this morning and hopefully gain some sort of peace regarding all things baby. As far as I'm concerned the only thing that might make me feel better is a really nice dinner... Maybe my husband will get the hint! Until Nia I plan to mope on the couch with my favorite blanket and eat some cereal.
Until tomorrow...
Xoxo chef a
How is it possible that I could love a man so much yet be on such a different page regarding our child's name??
This question has unfortunately left me in tears for the better part of two day... I'm sure it is not the only thing...it is a mixture of hormones, pressure, and of course some body image issues all rolled up together...
But I'm pretty sure I've got a problem when it's midnight and I'm typing into "Google", "Is it normal to be crying so much at 5 months pregnant?"
This morning, crying was pretty much the first thing I did...I don't really know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself to find this perfect name that makes our entire family happy and that honors all the people we are supposed to... At first I thought that by honoring someone in my son's name it will somehow help him to remember the great men who came before him, but in realty our son will know the great men because we will take time to tell him stories about them. By using someone's name it is not like it somehow brings them back, but yet it still pulls at my heartstrings to not do it. Mike on the other hand thinks that our child deserves his own identity with no connection to anyone or anything (well except when we thought it was a girl because then all of the sudden "Sofia Vergara" sounded like a perfect name! Just kidding, kind of...). The hard part is that I do want my child to have his own identity, but I think there can be a compromise. I guess we will see what happens...
I'm going to try to de-stress myself at Nia this morning and hopefully gain some sort of peace regarding all things baby. As far as I'm concerned the only thing that might make me feel better is a really nice dinner... Maybe my husband will get the hint! Until Nia I plan to mope on the couch with my favorite blanket and eat some cereal.
Until tomorrow...
Xoxo chef a
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
A Rant...
On the IPOD "Fallin' For You" By: Colbie Caillat
So this is old news for those of you who are friends with me on facebook, but for the rest of you...We finally found out that it is most definitely a BOY! Since we found that out we have been bombarded with name game questions and we are yet again tabling the discussion on names but I do promise to let everyone know at a specific time before he gets here. I used to get so annoyed at people for keeping it a secret but I completely understand now...even when I change my wording from "what do you think about...?" to "We are thinking about..." I continue to get the same response of "Oh I hate that name!" or "No, you should change it to..." Let me explain the correct etiquette if you ask someone what names they are thinking about and they actually tell you...your response should point blank be "Oh that's (wonderful, beautiful, perfect....)" I'm not quite sure how one would think that by asking you what names you are considering it gives them the right to give their opinion... especially when you never asked for it! If you really want to name a kid then you go through the morning sickness, back pain, ligament stretching, and heartburn. Until then either figure out a way to smile and say you love it or don't ask!
Sorry for the rant but to tell you the truth the most important thing to me is that Mike and I agree and the last thing I need is people making me second guess our extremely difficult decision! I mean maybe I'm the only one but I have never met someone and thought to myself "Ugh, I hate their name, I refuse to be friends with them!" It seems like the only time people discuss the kid's name is before they are even born! After that they are just who they are and that's the end of the story! So please know that when I finally announce our son's name it will be to the tune of....Suck it up this is his name!
Well at least I feel better now! This morning I woke up to a baby doing somersaults... and now he is currently in his favorite sleeping position which includes him jamming his feet into my lower back and directly into my sciatic nerve. It's awesome...NOT! Well I'm off to cook so that maybe I can make my Nia class tonight...
Jalapeno Chicken
Sauteed Broccolini
Pan-Seared Chicken with Proscuitto Fig Sauce
Stir-fried Haricot Verts
BBQ Glazed Salmon
Sauteed Chopped Veggies
Balsamic Braised Shortribs
Grilled Mexican Corn
Mexican Tortilla Casserole
Peppered Pork Loin with Creamy Cheddar Grits
Chicken Spaghetti
Hope everyone has a great day today!
xoxo chef a
So this is old news for those of you who are friends with me on facebook, but for the rest of you...We finally found out that it is most definitely a BOY! Since we found that out we have been bombarded with name game questions and we are yet again tabling the discussion on names but I do promise to let everyone know at a specific time before he gets here. I used to get so annoyed at people for keeping it a secret but I completely understand now...even when I change my wording from "what do you think about...?" to "We are thinking about..." I continue to get the same response of "Oh I hate that name!" or "No, you should change it to..." Let me explain the correct etiquette if you ask someone what names they are thinking about and they actually tell you...your response should point blank be "Oh that's (wonderful, beautiful, perfect....)" I'm not quite sure how one would think that by asking you what names you are considering it gives them the right to give their opinion... especially when you never asked for it! If you really want to name a kid then you go through the morning sickness, back pain, ligament stretching, and heartburn. Until then either figure out a way to smile and say you love it or don't ask!
Sorry for the rant but to tell you the truth the most important thing to me is that Mike and I agree and the last thing I need is people making me second guess our extremely difficult decision! I mean maybe I'm the only one but I have never met someone and thought to myself "Ugh, I hate their name, I refuse to be friends with them!" It seems like the only time people discuss the kid's name is before they are even born! After that they are just who they are and that's the end of the story! So please know that when I finally announce our son's name it will be to the tune of....Suck it up this is his name!
Well at least I feel better now! This morning I woke up to a baby doing somersaults... and now he is currently in his favorite sleeping position which includes him jamming his feet into my lower back and directly into my sciatic nerve. It's awesome...NOT! Well I'm off to cook so that maybe I can make my Nia class tonight...
Jalapeno Chicken
Sauteed Broccolini
Pan-Seared Chicken with Proscuitto Fig Sauce
Stir-fried Haricot Verts
BBQ Glazed Salmon
Sauteed Chopped Veggies
Balsamic Braised Shortribs
Grilled Mexican Corn
Mexican Tortilla Casserole
Peppered Pork Loin with Creamy Cheddar Grits
Chicken Spaghetti
Hope everyone has a great day today!
xoxo chef a
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