Wipeout!

This is a picture of Levi and Kate at Gym Class (notice Levi's Batman costume with cape and his red nose...this is post wipeout!)

On the IPOD "Mockingbird" By: Carly Simon and James Taylor

So today started out great... Today was my first day off in forever. The High Holidays (most important Jewish holidays) are over and I'm finally back to the daily grind. It was nice waking up with no work responsibilities for a change. Anyways the plan was to take Levi to his gym class with his bestie Kate and then Tasha "Kate's mom" and I were going to treat ourselves to sushi for lunch.

Levi had a great morning...we slept in and cuddled with Daddy and then got up and played a little while I caught up on some DVRed sitcoms. We did our hair and got dressed and headed over to BeBe's house. Levi cuddled more with BeBe while I heated up some baby pancakes. Levi ate pancakes in bed with BeBe (I know nice habits I'm starting) while I packed his bag up. We loaded up in the car and headed to therapy...Levi fell asleep in the car and slept almost all the way through my appointment. My therapist fixed me for the week and we loaded back up and headed to gym. At this point I was feeling great...Levi had a great morning nap, I was sane again, and we were running ahead of schedule.

We got to gym a little early so we hung out in the car listened to great music and sang a little. Tasha and Kate were parked in front of us and to my amazement Kate also had a great morning nap. Could we be so lucky that everything was working out????

Ugh! This is when it all started....

12:05 Walk into the gym and put shoes and bags away

12:10 Gym Teacher lets us all in the room and I set Levi down on the mats

12:11 Levi crawls right to the foam stairs and crawls up with no help needed

12:12 Levi does an about face and literally jumps off the stairs past the gym mats and on to the rough carpeted floor face first!

12:13 Levi screams bloody murder as I watch his nose and forehead turn to a Rudolph shade of red

12:14 Levi calms down and heads straight for the stairs again...I quickly nip that in the bud and end up having to force him to sit in my lap.

12:15 Class begins

Class goes great although Levi's carpet burn seems to be getting more red by the minute...isn't bothering him as much as it is bothering me...

At this point we should have just gone home, but I'm obviously a masochist.

So we loaded the kids up and headed to the sushi restaurant across the street... Now just so you don't think we are completely insane. These are both restaurant kids...they have been going together their entire lives and up until today have always been perfect angels! Obviously when they were baby talking in class they came up with a terrible master plan!

So we walk in and the restaurant is nicely full but not crowded. They quickly seat us and we put the highchairs right next to each other on one side of the table in their usual spots! Within 2 minutes Levi drops a toy on the ground and when he looks for it he bangs his head right on the edge of the table. Of course he goes into full fledged "My life is over" mode, but I scooped him up and it quickly dissipated. Then if on cue Kate pipes up. Tasha breaks out the puffs and all is quiet again. We figure out our order while we both exclaim how thrilled we are to be out eating sushi. The babies are both playing nicely, but we are quickly running out of puffs. Just as the waiter sets down the salad and soup both of them start in...sort of taking turns...

This is a nightmare...Levi is screaming at the top of his lungs between each bite reminding me each time that I wasn't feeding him fast enough (on a good note he loves some sushi..He was all over that avocado roll like it was his b---h) while Kate is literally having an emotional meltdown next to him. We all look like we have been to hell and back...We're both apologizing to the tables around us while trying to stuff our faces between screams and cries and as they both finally pull it together I notice that we are both sweating, our hair is in our faces, and we are a far cry from covergirl ready. At this point there is really nothing to do except laugh or cry...thankfully this time we both laughed!

We payed our bill, tipping extra for the crime scene that we left under the table, and it seems as if we will all live to see another day...

Everybody is napping at our house sure hope its the same at Kate's house...

I don't know maybe work isn't so bad...just kidding I still wouldn't trade today for anything!!!!

But I sure hope they sleep tonight!

xoxo chef a

Untitled...

On the IPOD "Don't let me Fall" By: Lenka

Well hello there strangers... The two weeks leading up until school starts are insane for me. I have some clients that seem to disappear in the summers and then are not exactly understanding when they get back in to town and I cant fit them in the second they call...they are also not understanding enough to pay me to keep their time slots...so I do what any other workaholic would do I fill their time slots and worry about the overbooking issue later. Well this week was later and I pretty much haven't even had time to watch "Real Housewives of New Jersey" (Only kidding I watched it in the middle of the night on Monday! Lol)

Anyways I'm not exactly sure why the blog thing has been hard for me lately... Well I mean I do have some reasons...finding time is an issue in general and then allowing myself the personal time is another part of it, but deeper than that I'm having a slightly more difficult time opening up lately. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I used to have the time to be one on one with my computer and now it seems as if I am never alone or if maybe the real issue is that I want people to hear me and to relate to me but sometimes I get responses that are more solutions on how to fix myself or even emails of pity. That is not what I'm looking for so in turn I think I have been guarded because I'm afraid of what I'll hear... but not writing is bothering me... I feel like I am in a boat with no paddles...

So, whether you like it or not I'm going to thread by thread, knot by knot... let it out. I would love to hear from you if you can relate or if you like or agree with what I am saying, but please know that I'm not asking for you to fix me...it's actually not about being fixed... it's about finding a home in me...a peace...with who I am, with who I could be, and with who I may never be.

So I will be back in the next 12 hours...I mean I have to write something before therapy tomorrow!

xoxo chef a

Whatever you do...Don't bend over!

On the IPOD "The Chipmunk Song" By: The Chipmunks

Wow I can't believe I only have three weeks left of this miserable pregnancy... My hands look like those over sized tickle me Elmo gloves that are so popular this year. They are extremely puffy, red and all sorts of not cute! The only saving grace is that I have not had any swelling in my legs or feet...yet! I can not fully explain how badly my hands hurt...If I had only known that carpal tunnel was so bad chances are I would have chosen a career that isn't so hard on your hands. I'm trying to use them as sparingly as possible so that maybe it will go away when Levi comes...

My doctor gave me some pain pills to help at night and the first night they worked beautifully. Unfortunately I obviously built up a tolerance to them overnight because since that glorious night of sleep it has been all down hill! It was so bad yesterday morning that when I tried to wash out a glass in the sink with one of those long dish scrubbers, my hands just wouldn't work. I literally could not do it...it was so frustrating that I almost threw the brush across the room... the only thing that stopped me was that I realized I would have to bend over and pick the brush up which raises an entire other issue! Bending over is like a joke...I need a person on each side of me just to help me back up! Not to be graffic but they are telling you the truth when they say that during the last month your pelvic bones start making room for baby. Although "making room" is really a nice phrase for "splitting down the middle!"

I would be lying if I didn't say that every morning I wake up and pray that my water breaks... I know I should want him to stay in as long as possible but I'm over it! I mean even right now at 5:30 am Levi has such bad hiccups that my stomach looks like I'm having convulsions.

I'm really ready to stop working...I dont know what made me think I would want to work through New Years! Oh well, it's off to work I go!

Until later...

xoxo chef a

Work Work and More Work

On the IPOD "Raise Your Glass" By: Pink

I have been working to the max...I guess it has to do with my overwhelming need to put everything into place before the baby gets here and knowing that I am going to have to take off a little bit of time forces my ocd self to strike while the iron is hot. Unfortunately the downfall of this is that I haven't had a day of this week and I'm even working on Saturday as well...

I'm feeling pretty good just tired...I've had some Braxton Hicks contractions not terrible just a little nerve wracking. I swear this child is kicking me all night long which makes sleeping a luxury! I'm having a major craving for pumpkin bread so I hope to spend a little time this weekend trying to come up with a killer version, hopefully somewhat low in fat and sugar...I'll let you know how it goes... My Mother in law is hosting a tea for me with her closest girlfriends tomorrow afternoon and I'm looking forward to a fun relaxing afternoon. I was going to work a little in the morning but my mom stepped in and vetoed that decision, so instead I'm treating myself to a deluxe mani pedi.

Sorry I've been sort of absent lately but it is really difficult to write a lot since I feel like I'm just complaining about the state I'm in. I swear I'm just wondering where are the girls that think pregnancy is the best thing since sliced bread and why can't I catch a little of their positive attitude! Cause I feel like I'm in complete bitch mode and I'm pretty sure that everyone around me agrees!

xoxo chef a

Is this kid ever full????

On the IPOD "Come On Get Higher" By: Matt Nathanson

First of all the blog is on a contest on the MoveStudio fan page on facebook. To vote you have to first like the MoveStudio page and then you can vote by commenting on the voting post. Please vote for #3 "The Special Place". Thanks xoxo

I can't explain to you how hungry I am... I'm trying to make good choices but I swear this kid is always hungry... I woke up at about 2:30am and tried and tried to go back to sleep but it just didn't work. Of course the second I got up you know who was starving. So I got a single serving of 2% cottage cheese and finished it off with my new favorite thing... an Archer Farms (Target brand) Cinnamon Home style chunky apple sauce cup. I finally fell back to sleep on the couch at about 6 and then was up again by 7 and hungry again by 7:15 this time I had about 2/3 cup of granola with milk. I'm thinking that I need to spend some time today grilling some chicken breasts so that maybe I can force down some protein instead of just eating carbs and dairy (my two favorite things!) I am fully aware that now that I am in my third trimester the little guy is growing faster and I will gain weight more quickly, but I would be lying if I said that I don't obsess somewhat over the scale.

I went back to Nia on Saturday and I got through about 45 minutes before the sciatica got unbearable and I had to sit on a ball in the back. The ball happened to be the best idea ever! So I will be heading back tonight with a big smile on my face that I can actually be there!

As much as I'm "enjoying" this pregnancy I have to say that I can't wait to be able to get back to regular weightloss blogs with I'm sure some funny tales of a first time mother. I hope you can't wait too!

xoxo chef a

The last few days of my second trimester...

On the IPOD "Belong" By: Cary Brothers

I have been fighting with some major allergies/sinuses this week making it very difficult to get up in the mornings, hence the lack of blogs, but I'm hoping if I just take it easy this weekend that maybe by Monday I'll feel like myself again...

I had a doctors appointment this week, everything is looking good...no swelling, no massive weight gain (I gained 2 pounds this month for a grand total of almost 9), and baby is kicking up a storm lately so those are all good things. I have to go back in two weeks...I'm not really looking forward to it... I have to get an rh negative shot because my blood type is negative and I have the sugar test which I better frickin pass! By then I will be soaring into my 3rd trimester and I'm really really ready.

The doctor also said it is looking like we will most likely induce on January 8th if I don't go into labor before that... kinda weird and cool that it is the day after my Dad died... I guess we will just see what happens... It is slightly overwhelming to make all of these big decisions before the baby gets here like life insurance and writing our will, but I guess its just part of being a parent. We also just signed up for birthing classes next month which should lead to at least one hysterical blog.

Well today is an extremely full day at work, I have a regular client downtown and then a kosher shabbat dinner to cook on the other side of town. I will feel much more calm at about 5:30pm. I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!!

xoxo chef a

Deep breaths

On the IPOD "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" By: The Smiths

How is it possible that I could love a man so much yet be on such a different page regarding our child's name??

This question has unfortunately left me in tears for the better part of two day... I'm sure it is not the only thing...it is a mixture of hormones, pressure, and of course some body image issues all rolled up together...

But I'm pretty sure I've got a problem when it's midnight and I'm typing into "Google", "Is it normal to be crying so much at 5 months pregnant?"

This morning, crying was pretty much the first thing I did...I don't really know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself to find this perfect name that makes our entire family happy and that honors all the people we are supposed to... At first I thought that by honoring someone in my son's name it will somehow help him to remember the great men who came before him, but in realty our son will know the great men because we will take time to tell him stories about them. By using someone's name it is not like it somehow brings them back, but yet it still pulls at my heartstrings to not do it. Mike on the other hand thinks that our child deserves his own identity with no connection to anyone or anything (well except when we thought it was a girl because then all of the sudden "Sofia Vergara" sounded like a perfect name! Just kidding, kind of...). The hard part is that I do want my child to have his own identity, but I think there can be a compromise. I guess we will see what happens...

I'm going to try to de-stress myself at Nia this morning and hopefully gain some sort of peace regarding all things baby. As far as I'm concerned the only thing that might make me feel better is a really nice dinner... Maybe my husband will get the hint! Until Nia I plan to mope on the couch with my favorite blanket and eat some cereal.

Until tomorrow...
Xoxo chef a

The Calm Before The Storm

On the IPOD "Lift Me Up" By: Christina Aguilera

Well I just got home from Austin, we stayed with my brother Andrew, at his new house which is awesome and had a really nice time. I have to say that the news from Friday was a tad bit shocking especially since it was a last minute decision to go in to get a special sonogram to check the babies organs on our way out of town. I had scheduled the visit a long time ago before I knew that I was going to get a sono at my doctors last week... When I got there the baby was not cooperating and I was going from side to side just to see if we could get a glimpse. The tech finally saw what she thought are boy parts but could not give me a definite answer just saying that if I were to ask her she would say a boy. I think I left more confused than anything else. It really took me the weekend to wrap my brain around calling him a he instead of a she. Sunday night my doctor looked at the sonogram and told me that he felt it was a tad bit inconclusive since I came in so early at 18 weeks 6 days and that he really wanted to scan me again in two weeks to make sure that what they saw wasn't a shadow since the baby had his knees locked... I'm going with a boy though, it is what I have felt from the beginning and it just feels right, but I guess this is what I get for being in such a rush to find out and for trying to control the situation!

Of course we are thrilled either way and although little girls are really fun to dress there is nothing like a sweet little boy especially the only little boy in an Italian family that will carry on the family name! For everything that we have been through to get here I'm just over the moon that it is a healthy baby!

Austin was great with the exception of Sunday morning when I had a bout with the morning sickness fairy. Who knows why, I haven't been sick in a couple of weeks but obviously something didn't agree with me and I was extremely tired and hot... We headed home soon after that and I took a much needed nap the whole way home.

This week is insane, everybody is home from vacation and all the kids are starting school which means that my days of hanging out in the afternoons are over for the most part. Before I know it there will be holiday music in all of the stores and parties on every weekend. I have to admit that I love it though... I love being busy and it is actually easier for me to focus on work when I have more of it, if you know what I mean!

Thank you all for your sweet calls, emails, and messages about the boy news. We are really excited either way and although lots of you commented on twins...let's not get ahead of ourselves! I will let you know when I know or maybe it will just be a surprise in January, I guess I will just have to let the control go for awhile and just enjoy the fact that there is a tiny miracle growing inside of me.

xoxo chef a

Credit Cards and Mommy Friends

On the IPOD "Straighten Up And Fly Right" By: Natalie Cole

Yesterday could have possibly been the worst day...it really started the night before.

On Monday we went to Buy Buy Baby to pick up the stroller I decided on and I was thrilled when I took it out of the box and took it for a spin, but then when it came to closing it up and then unloading it at my house let's just say it was a shame nobody was filming me. There were wheels going in every direction and handles hitting the floor and after a really frustrating walk into the building I was ready to take the stroller back. So I had a tiny emotional breakdown and then went to bed.

I knew going into Tuesday that it was going to be a hard day... I had two clients with extremely big menus and one of them has possibly the hardest kitchen floor ever invented! When I got to the first grocery store I rushed through to pick up all the items I needed only to find at the checkout line that I had lost my credit card... Luckily I had a check book, but it didn't take care of that sinking feeling of not having the card. As soon as I left the store I started calling Mike and my Mom to search for the card, Of course nobody could find it. I spent a good solid hour calling every store I had been to the day before, but didn't have any luck. By 9 am the card was cancelled and they were over nighting me a new one...

The first house I cooked at had 6 kids and 3 nannies in total playing within 20 feet of the kitchen. Between lunch and literally 8 snack times I have to admit that I questioned my ability to handle motherhood at least twice. By two o'clock my feet looked more like little sausages and less like feet... But I kept on to the next house... By 5:30 pm I was just wrapping everything up... It could not have been a longer day.

After realizing that there was no way I was going to make it to Nia, I decided to call my friend Lauren to see if I could bring the new stroller by to get her opinion... If there is anything I have learned from this experience it is that you should keep a mommy friend in your back pocket at all times... She showed me all kinds of good things about it that I couldn't even see because I was so overwhelmed with the mechanics. By the time I left I felt confident that the stroller was indeed for me. I think in general all strollers have their issues and with use most of them are fine it just might take a little time to get adjusted to them... Now I'm super excited about my stroller and I cant wait to get to use it!

Anyways to make a long story a little shorter...I ended up finding the card although it was useless since I had cancelled it... Oh well at least some creep doesn't have it. I had a feeling I would find it but you just can't take any chances. Oh well, thank goodness today is a new day!

xoxo chef a

Baby Gear Drama

On the IPOD "Sundrenched World" By: Joshua Radin

For those of you who have never been pregnant, I feel like the best way to describe it is to say that every feeling is to the extreme. It is sort of like your body is on strike! I actually don't understand girls who don't know that they are pregnant...I'm even going to say that they must be in denial because I don't think it is possible not to know!

Tuesday morning was like any other day... I woke up and got ready, ate an apple with some peanut butter and then headed for the grocery store. For some reason on the way there I started to have a weird craving for enchiladas, but I pushed it away and kept on shopping. After the third store I was on my way to my clients. At the first stop light I realized that I was starving, and not just any kind of starving but baby starving which by the way is completely different than regular hunger...I actually caught myself about to rip open a package of whole wheat hamburger buns until I gave it a second thought and realized I would much rather spend the calories on the string cheese that was with the cold food in the way back of the car.... So yes you guessed it...I jumped out of the car, ran to the back, opened up the cooler and grabbed the freaking cheese. I'm sure the car behind me was less than thrilled but I was back in before the light even changed so they can just chill out. Never get between a pregnant girl and a hungry baby!

The rest of the day went smoothly until I decided to take yet another trip to the baby store, this time I was by myself. I think it was worse... Have you ever had an anxiety attack over a breast pump or a swing? Well if not then you have not been pregnant in the 21st century, because let me assure you there are just two many choices... I mean do you know what it is like to have your husband ask you, "Are you really sure a hands free breast pump is made for your size boobs???" After my silent response I got a, "Well I mean that in a good way..." Anyways although he is so sweet to pick out the swings, bouncy seats and stollers he likes online to give me direction...I feel like when I'm in the store they are all different and huge and it sort of feels like I'm making a life or death decision, which with all of the recalls lately I am! We tried to go to the store together once but I think it just made me more overwhelmed.

I hope that all of this at least makes you laugh... The best decision I made was yesterday afternoon when I was with my mom and my aunt and we had about an hour of free time and I asked if they were interested to go into buy buy baby and check it out. They both were totally on board...My mom had been once before but for my aunt it was all new. I think she was pretty shocked by all the choices, but for her it was just pure excitement which I have to say changed the vibe of the experience... I actually picked out a stoller and carseat which by the way was in a completely different direction than where I was orignally going, but it has in a way changed my whole outlook and I have been able to really focus on what I want and was finally able to be excited about it instead of being scared... which is a feat in itself.

xoxo chef a

A Change...

On the IPOD "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)" By: Dixie Chicks

The reason I picked this song today is because I always thought that this would be what I would sing to my kids to help them fall asleep... Well it looks like that time has almost come... Yep as some of you have already guessed I'm pregnant. That's of course why I have been up so much in the middle of the night and getting sick in cars and craving spicy foods.

To tell you the truth I was going to wait to announce it till I was a little further along but yesterday I had a very rough scare and the first thing I thought was that if something happens I want to write about it. The blog is my saving grace and trying to keep this secret has almost been killing me. After going to the doc this morning and getting really good news I decided that the truth is I want you all to be a part of this journey and hopefully the journey goes as planned but if it's not perfect I still want you there.

As of tomorrow I will be 7 weeks which makes my due date January 15, 2011! I am feeling pretty good just a little tired and a little nauseated. I know some of you will ask "well does this change your weight loss plan?" And the short answer is no. My doctor and I really don't want me to gain a lot of weight...the plan is actually to come out of this pregnancy healthier than I am now. So I'm working really hard to eat right and exercise (although no dancing for the next two weeks just to be extra careful.)

Mike and I are just thrilled and I am so excited to finally let you all in. Please think really good thoughts and if you pray we wouldn't mind that either. Now that it's out of the bag, you can expect some funny tales and definitaly the truth. Ugh! I just have so much to tell you we will back track a little starting tomorrow. So stayed tuned....

lots and lots of love
xoxo chef a

Fear (revisited)

On the IPOD "Fear" by: Sarah McLachlan

I have already discussed the topic of fear, but I'm back again...
How do you deal with fear?

I have to start out by saying that I'm a natural worrier...it's what I do. I could worry about the wall if I tried. The anxiety I feel has been passed down many generations, it's like the present that everybody gets but nobody wants. And I'm pretty sure that anxiety is what is waking me up at 4 in the morning everyday.

When I think about getting pregnant these are the fears I have...
1. What if something happens, and I have to go through all of the sadness again?
2. How will I control my weight when I am not in charge of my own body?
3. How will I focus in dance class if I'm constantly worried about hurting the baby?
4. Is there such a thing as enough money??? (I think this is a normal one)
5. How will I ever stop worrying?

Those are the top 5 although there are many more that come in and out of my head. And I'm not saying that any of my fears are irrational. I just want to learn how to turn it off from time to time. I do think a healthy amount of fear is good for you...it pushes you and helps you to achieve your goals. But when it stifles you, that's a problem...

So I'm thinking about taking a course in meditation... I have a friend who recently took it and said it was amazing. I figure what do I have to lose?

So there was a request for a recipe:

Summer Vegetable Soup

2 cups celery, (I clean the whole bunch trim a 1/4 inch off the end and finely chop towards the heart using all of the leaves)
1 1/2 cups shredded carrots
1 large leek, split chopped and cleaned
2 32 oz boxes of chicken stock
2 16 oz cans diced tomatoes with basil and oregano
1 16 oz bag of frozen organic mixed vegetables
1 large zucchini, diced
Pepper to taste

I use a non stick soup pot, so that I don't have to add oil. Saute celery, carrots, and leeks over medium heat until soft. Add stock, tomatoes, and mixed vegetables. And bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a high simmer and cook about 30 minutes. Add zucchini and cook 5 min. more. Season with fresh ground pepper. I don't salt this soup because the stock and tomatoes both have enough salt but if you are using organic stock and tomatoes most likely you will need to add a little.

Oh, and my diet plan for the other day worked beautifully. It ended up being a great food day...I stayed on track, wasn't starving, and didn't really even snack!

xoxo chef a