Bringing It Matrix Style

On the IPOD "I'll Be Missing You" By: Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans and 112

Not that it should all be about the numbers but for the record since January 21st I have lost a whopping 45 pounds and since I started working out with Shawn on Friday February 17th I have lost 24 pounds. And I have also gained serious muscles so in reality the actual amount of fat that I've lost is probably even higher. What is more important than any amount of weightloss though is the amount of inner strength I feel from just getting up in the morning and being present in my self. Whether I'm busting my butt to Nia on a Saturday morning, going on a 4 mile walk/run in the afternoon, gritting my teeth in the gym after a full day of clients, or hardest of all standing in front of the refrigerator contemplating what to eat. Through it all I have decided to be present in my own body.

I'm by no means saying that i don't have my moments of weakness.... Last night while I was rocking Levi I ended up in tears... I'm not exactly sure why... I'm sure it's a mixture of everything, but on another note I'm happy to report that Levi has been sleeping through the night in his own bed for over a week now (this is a small miracle in our house and it only took us 14 1/2 months!). But crying sometimes just feels right if you know what I mean!

So I'm going to talk a little bit about the joys of working out, lol, never thought I'd say that! Ive come to appreciate gritting my teeth and pushing though, whether it is running when I just cant do it anymore or getting through that 12th rep on the shoulder press, there is something joyful about using everything I have to get through it. I first felt the joy when I noticed shawn's face when he saw me grit my teeth, he couldnt have been more happy that I was pushing myself. Now it's like an inside joke...but what's funny is that what started out as a joke in the gym has become like my drug of choice. Now all I want is the grit, it almost feels like I'm not getting enough out of life without feeling my jaw tense up.

Nia is based in martial arts so sometimes we focus on jabs, cross checking and upper cuts... Over the past few weeks, I have come to love this part of class ( it might have to do what the fact that a certain somebody has become the focus of my angst). Anyways on Thursday let's just say my focus was on and I went all matrix on her imaginary ass, lol. I closed my eyes gritted my teeth... Shawn was on one shoulder, Jule was on the other and fire was in my belly, and it was amazing! And better yet I'm planning on going all matrix on somebody's ass again today so watch out suckers lol!

Xoxo chef a

Here we go again...

On the IPOD "Modern Love" By: Matt Nathanson

So I've made a decision.... I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I just had a birthday on Thursday or maybe it was two weeks ago when I had a little bit of a pregnancy scare (and yes right now I would consider it to be a scare!), but whatever it was I have realized that I'm done!

I'm done carrying around this extra pregnancy weight. I have been back to my old ways of feeding my feeling and although I haven't really gained weight since Levi was born, I definitely haven't lost it either. The sad part about it is that I just really haven't felt like myself in awhile...I don't really think it is a postpartum thing...it's more of a stressed out, tired, horrible body image, really tired (yes I'm aware I repeated it), put yourself on the back burner and take care of the baby kind of thing. But I'm really not doing anyone any good... I'm not always my sunshine self, I do a lot of nodding my head while not listening to anything anyone is saying, I have even lost my witty retorts that should be able to calm me down when I'm faced with a "suckubus" (A suckubus is a term we use at our house to describe a person whether male or female who tries to suck the life out of you.) If you want someone to really show you if they are a suckubus, have a baby and you will find out quickly enough!

So anyways my plan is to start back slowly... First on my list is to work out every day whether it is Nia, the gym, the pool, or the Wii. Starting with working out always works better for me mainly because I have an emotional attachment to food so if I start a diet flat out I feel deprived which usually results in me cheating so instead of taking something away from myself I am going to give myself the gift of working out... it sounds silly, but I think it might work... let's hope so!

xoxo chef a

Rebooting...

On the IPOD "Set Fire To The Rain" By: ADELE

Ive decided that the only way to be skinny while being a full time working mom is to have money and a nanny! I mean a nanny is not an option for us so I'm going to have to come up with a better solution, not that skinny is really even in my personal vocabulary... But I do want to be healthier so something has got to give! Levi and I get up for work between 5-6 am, Mike works till 7:30pm and lately Levi likes to scream for about 2 hours each night starting as early as 5 and ending sometimes as late as 9:30, which tends to make leaving to go workout at night difficult to say the least and early morning workouts are completely out of the question. So where does a girl find the time I ask you?

To be honest it is not helping that I am really having a hard time accepting my post baby body issues... between the numb looser tummy I've been sporting since the c-section and my boobs that spent way too many countless hours attached to a pump... Lets just say that it is definitely affecting my self esteem which in turn makes it harder to make the steps to do something about it. So lately I've been making myself feel better the only way I know how to...with food!

But I'm done... mainly because it's just not working obviously... I'm officially back on the quest to deal with my shit without the help of an m&m! And I'm also giving myself permission to put my needs first for at least a 1/2 hour a day because in the long run everyone wins with a happier Amanda!

xoxo chef a

Thanksgiving

On the IPOD "Put You In A Song" By: Keith Urban

Hey all I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving!!! Mine was extremely busy... 
Black eyed pea dip
Artichoke dip
Butternut squash soup
Harvest salad
Cranberry orange sauce
6 turkeys in all
Traditional, Cajun, and Garlic Herb
2 Peppercorn crusted beef tenderloins
Corn bread dressing
Whipped sweet potatoes with praline topping
Mashed potatoes
Roasted potatoes
Green bean casserole
Broccoli cheese rice casserole
Haricot verts almondine 
Pumpkin Ginger roll 
Mixed berries

This was obviously for more than one family!!! I can't explain my joy when it was all over!  Mucho thanks go out to my aunt and my mom for helping me get everything done this year!

It's very nice to know that I only have regular clients, no parties, through the end of the year, because the little boy is making it much more difficult to work.

On Friday I did just a little bit of shopping before nia and then I headed out to the art museum with my family. It was so nice to have a real day off and it felt extremely decadent.

Saturday turned into a full day with a wonderful birthday lunch for my aunt and then I hosted a Marrone family dinner to celebrate my husbands birthday on Monday. 

With 6 weeks left I have definitely started nesting and really trying to get everything done.

Blogging has been more difficult because

#1 I'm exhausted

#2 I have some serious carpel tunnel from the pregnancy plus all of the cooking I do which makes my fingers numb making typing a tad difficult.

#3 I have baby brain meaning all I'm really thinking about is Levi and how uncomfortable I am making blogging more of a bitch fest! 

On the weight front I have gained about 15 or 16 pounds so far.  I'm sure it will go up some more and I'm ok with that...  

I think it's time for a Sunday morning nap... Check in with y'all later! 

xoxo chef a

P.S. I hope to post some nursery pics this week so if you are interested keep your eyes peeled!

A Special Place

On the IPOD "The Scientist" By: Coldplay

Well what I thought were just allergies turned into a body aching, itchy eyes, sneezing fits kind of cold and to say that I'm over it is an understatement! The unfortunate thing is that I missed the Movestudio Anniversary event last night...

I decided to talk a little bit about how Movestudio helped me to change my life.
For years I drove by this dance studio close to my moms house...every once in a while I looked up the schedule and talked myself out of actually showing up to a class with excuses like; I don't have the right clothes, I'll never be able to keep up, I'll be too embarrassed. But a year ago that all changed... I decided to face my weight problems head on through this blog and without thinking twice I joined my mom for a chair yoga class. From the moment I walked in I felt extremely comfortable. That first class was really geared more towards my mom's age group, but not only did I feel great for actually getting through the hour class but I ended up with a funny tale to tell from the experience. When I left that day I decided to just dive right in and try more classes.

The next day I showed up for Jule's Nia class... I stood in the back row on the right side and had no idea what I was doing but I fell in love with being there. As the weeks went on I came back more and more and finally found my spot in the back row but on the other side of the room. The most amazing thing happened... I built relationships with the other dancers. They eventually became followers of my blog and more importantly became advocates in my life. They have made it possible for me to be strong in moments of weakness and to be present in the class when it felt like I was failing in the outside world. Being in Nia class gave me the strength to to try other classes like Zumba and eventually the Zensual classes which in the darkest moments of infertility helped me to feel like a woman even when it felt impossible. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel like Movestudio has changed my life. It has not been all perfect, there are times when I dance in the wrong direction and even a moment when I fell to the floor in 7 inch platforms. But it made me realize that I would rather try something and have an embarrassing funny story to tell then to not have tried it at all...

In the last year I have lost 60 pounds, I have been through a grueling round of infertility, I have become a dancer, I have gained unmeasurable amounts of self esteem, and I am now 6 1/2 months pregnant with a baby boy! Although this pregnancy has been a tad bit difficult and I have missed more classes than I have wanted to. I know that my place remains. Knowing that my Nia girls and boys are waiting patiently for my return makes each pound I gain a little less painful. And knowing that I will be bringing my son up around such amazing and supportive friends makes Movestudio hold a very special place in my heart. I hope that those of you reading this blog are lucky enough to find a place like Movestudio, a place that helps you to change your life from the inside out.

To another 10 years...

xoxo chef a

And then there were two of us

On the IPOD "Turn on the Radio" By: Reba McEntire



I have reached the point where I finally feel like there is someone else with me all of the time. What works for me is no longer what's important... my diet has turned into what works for you know who, because it really only takes that first night when you have downed a half a bottle of tums and you still feel like your chest is going to explode before you realize that whatever it was is just not worth it!

I have gained about a pound so far which my doctor seems pleased about. Although that is less than most at this stage it makes sense for me since I went into pregnancy still overweight. I'm still fighting with my normal response to stress which includes heading to the closest processed food available... While shopping at Buy Buy Baby yesterday I suddenly felt a tad bit overwhelmed and tore open a box of100 calorie bags of M&Ms devouring 2 bags within 15 minutes. Oddly enough it did make me feel better!

Lately my cravings have included broccoli salad, spaghetti and turkey meatballs with arrabbiata sauce, fruit of all kinds, and I keep having dreams about eating some amazing piece of cake but when I try to nail down the flavor I'm hoping for my mind just goes blank so I guess I will just have to keep dreaming about it...

The other weird thing is that the baby is now able to hear our voices and music so I definitely think more about the music I play in the car. You all know how important music is to me and was to my dad so I feel like it is my duty to expose this kid to the best of the best at the very youngest age. I also make Mike talk to my stomach because since he is at work so much I want the baby to get to know his voice as often as possible. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy...

And now on Saturday morning I'm watching "Raise Your Voice" in tears (gotta love hormones) before I head to my redo birthday Nia Class (power went out last week.) I'm really looking forward to getting back into the swing of Nia and working out in general, I have really been missing it. I never thought it would be such a challenge to get my body ready to work out again but 3 months of throwing up can really take a toll.

Broccoli Salad Recipe (This recipe is not low fat but it's southern and really good and you can add extra veggies and substitute light mayo to make it a better choice)

•5 cups fresh broccoli florets
•1/2 cup craisins
•1/2 cup sunflower seeds
•1/2 cup cooked, crumbled bacon (Optional, don't use if you want it to be lower calorie)
•1/4 cup of red onion, chopped
•Dressing:
•1 cup mayonnaise (you can easily use light mayo and use a tad less sugar)
•2 tablespoons vinegar
•1/2 cup sugar
Preparation:
Combine broccoli florets, craisins, sunflower seeds, crumbled bacon, chopped onion in a large serving bowl. In a separate bowl or large cup, whisk together mayonnaise, vinegar and sugar. Add dressing to the salad and toss to mix well; chill thoroughly before serving.
I sometimes add cherry tomatoes, cauliflower, carrot slices, and/or celery

xoxo chef a

I've Been Missing You...

On the IPOD "I'll Be Missing You" By: Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans & 112

I am so happy to report that I was finally given the go ahead to return to Nia this week. My first dance class was on Saturday and although it will take a little time to trust in myself that I will not mess anything up, there could not have been a better feeling than when I walked through the doors... I never in my life thought that I would actually miss a form of exercise, but low and behold I was soooo wrong!

I think that Nia might be one of the major things that have made the last 2 1/2 months so difficult. I mean weight loss has been a major focus in my life since about September and then all of the sudden I went from working out almost everyday and watching everything I ate to being preggers, not being allowed to work out and eating 75% carbs to try and calm the nausea. And on top of that it is not necessarily something you can openly complain about considering I've been on the other side of not being able to get pregnant!

But now that I'm not throwing up every second and it seems that I will be able to dance, I can be honest and tell you that there has been a part of me that has been missing all of it... not just the Nia classes, but also the feeling that I can somewhat control my diet. I'm by no means saying that I want my goal to be to lose weight right now, but I definitely like the idea that I can try to eat a more well rounded diet and hopefully have a really good and healthy pregnancy.

I am also excited about the fact that I can be a little more into work since food will hopefully never be my enemy again... This means I can discuss recipes and menus again and tell you everything there is to know about the upcoming chef convention and about the exciting class I'm teaching.

Thank you everyone for sticking through this morning sickness mess and supporting me to get back on track!

As for work tomorrow I'm making...

Chicken Fajitas with grilled peppers, refried black beans, and fresh avocado
Mock Fried Rice with Szechuan Grilled Shrimp
Classic Turkey Meatballs
Roasted Broccoli, Cauliflower, and Brussel Sprouts
Baked Crispy Cornflake Chicken Pieces
Fluffy Baby Spinach Souffle
Teriyaki Grilled Salmon
Orzo Salad with Roasted Vegetables

xoxo chef a