The Inner Loop

On the iPod "Georgia" by: Vance Joy

I'm well aware that only half of you will do this but go now and pull up this song on whatever you use... "YouTube" "Spotify" "iTunes" whatever. Hold the bottom speaker of your phone to your ear... (Careful that's it's not turned all the way up, but just loud enough that you feel like you are the only one in the room) now close your eyes and hit play... Haunting right? I love a song set in a minor key...

It's funny... Levi told me tonight that he loves to watch me listen to music... Man I love this kid. I mean if he only knew that this is mommy's escape but whatever... he gives himself time outs so to each their own! 

Today has been a rough day for me and although I'm not going to bore you all with the details I will say that my mom not being in town today and luca's decision to drop a nap last week and my own personal difficulty with schedule changes probably didn't help the day to begin with... Anyhow, it is what it is, all that really matters is that I have 364 days in the year to celebrate being a mommy even if today didn't go as planned! But just for fun I will tell you a little story that will make you laugh...

So some background info...you might not guess this considering I write a very personal, very public blog... But I'm actually quite a private person. I have a handful of friends that are in the inside loop and in my "old age" I have become very picky with who I open up to.  I would admit that I'm a giver, a listener, and a helper to the many and outside of the inside loop, I come across as very confident, strong willed, and even some might say intimidating (it's a chef thing), but to those few who are inside the loop they know that every once in awhile...I lose it... Like really lose it... I'm a silent, can't catch my breath or speak crier and I'm TERRIBLE at asking for help. 

So today when one of my inside loop girls called me it was just the perfect storm... The exact right time when everything was falling apart and her response was simply perfect... In her sarcastic tone she said, "Man I thought you were going to make me feel all jealous with how perfect your Mother's Day was going..." And to that we both laughed... She then insisted that after we put our kids to bed we escape to the foot massage place... I mean who could say no to that! 

Anyways we get to the "parlor" at 8:30 for our $50- 90 minute "religious experience" and yes I'm referring to it as an experience because well we've been around the block with foot massage places and this one happens to be the best. Don't get me wrong this isn't like a "happy ending" kind of place... Well at least we didn't think so! So anyways here we are in a room full of others trying to escape as well and everything seems just perfect... My phone dies 5 minutes in which was kind of incredible because I tend to sometimes work on my phone during the massage... I know, I know. Anyways so the two of us at this point are laying on our backs with a towel over our eyes. And then it happens... I start hearing moans... Not just normal moans but like Manly moans... The kind that make you blush... So of course I rip that towel off my eyes and turn to my friend who is just lying there not even flenching! I continue just trying to ignore it but the scene from "When Harry Met Sally" is playing in my head and I'm starting to get the giggles and have an incredible desire to scream out, "I'll have what he's having!" Even my massage therapist is starting to giggle at this point!  And I'm starting to think, "I can't believe she is sleeping through this!!!" So as soon as our therapists leave then room to get the hot steamy towels to wipe the lotion off our legs. Tasha's eye mask rips off and she jumps up to an, "OMG, Gross!!" And I just bust out laughing!! We manage to compose ourselves before we out ourselves as the immature adolescents that we obviously are! They proceed to turn us over on our stomachs to work on our necks and backs... Before I know it my tank top is around my waist and anyone walking through the room is getting an eye full of side boob and all I can think is that the next person that walks through is going to say..."Amanda? Is that you?" And then I'm going to have to explain why I'm in a party room with half naked people while the gentleman to my rear is having a full on orgasm... Whatever, they are there for the same reason so what do I care right? Lol!   Actually by the end of the massage while I had a lovely Asian girl sitting on my naked ass crack gently moving my rib bones around I didn't even notice the moaning anymore... Ya right! Lol. So as the two of us laughed our way out the the "foot massage" place, I realized that this was really what it all is about... Having friends that know that sometimes all you need is a good giggle...

So to you ladies who are in my inner loop and who all actually oddly enough checked in with me yesterday of all days... Must have been told in the cosmos to you that it was a rough day but anyways thanks... Thanks for checking on your strong willed friend who always seems to have it together even though you and I both know better! Lol

xoxo chef a

When A Craving Goes Bad!

On the IPOD "Please Speak Well Of Me" By: The Weepies

So yesterday I was watching a little "Everybody loves Raymond" and in walks Marie with a two layer cross cake...well that got me thinking about a two layer white cake with buttercream frosting for dinner and to tell you the truth the one I wanted was the said cross cake. Unfortunately a Jewish girl doesn't really know where to by a cross cake! So let's just say it ended with me driving to the store and buying a white cake with buttercream frosting and eating it with a plastic fork from the deli in the store parking lot. (And yes I wish I'd worn my "I'm Pregnant" t-shirt so that I didn't feel so bad walking out of the store with a cake and a plastic fork!) My thought was that I would buy just one piece so that I could take care of the craving and then I wouldn't have any leftovers but as you can see from the picture above the smallest one they had was a single layer 8x8 and yes I did bring it home and yes I just recently took a couple more bites. So yes that is two days worth of cake eating... (Notice the scraped off icing that I thought was saving me some calories!)

Although I don't want to make this a habit... So far weight gain has not been an issue, I actually lost weight over the weekend which nobody is really thrilled about. I think it is due to the fact that I just keep getting sick for one, second is that I'm really trying to eat every two hours which I'm starting to think really could help me lose weight after the pregnancy and that maybe at 5 months pregnant I just don't have the room to consume enough calories to gain weight. I'm not complaining, although I do feel like at some point I'm sure it will catch up with me. Besides the cake other current favorites are watered down apple juice with lots and lots of crushed ice and thin spaghetti with turkey meatballs and arrabbiata sauce.

Work has been good and bad this week. I love being extra busy but the baby doesn't love it so much... The baby is ready for a nap at 2 in the afternoon and lately that's been impossible. With school starting and everybody getting back into the swing of things...and my need to please everyone...Baby and I have been working 12 hour days everyday this week and we are so ready for the weekend!

So I hope my honest portrayal of a pregnancy craving gone bad at least made you laugh because when I was sitting in the car in the grocery store parking lot with an entire cake on my lap and a black plastic fork, I even started to laugh!

xoxo chef a

My trip to the vet...

On the IPOD "Ghost" by: Indigo Girls

So this fertility stuff is getting quite humorous. I went to the doctor Friday morning to get a trigger shot, not knowing that there was going to be a firm time table on when we had to "do laundry". When the doctor and I realized that the time table didn't work he explained to me that I could just give it to myself and the nurse went ahead and taught me how. I'm pretty sure that during the lesson I completely tuned her out and was just focusing on the prospect of putting a needle into my own skin... So I left the office knowing that I needed to find a way to get this shot in the next 4 hours. I called anyone who I thought might be able to do it and timing wise nothing worked. I finally had a last minute thought to call my vet. Yes you read correctly I actually called the vet to see if by any chance they would give me a fertility shot. You know you've hit rock bottom when you are getting shots at the vet :) . They were totally on board no problem at all thank goodness. I just wish I had a picture of me bending over right next to the dog scale!!!

Hey I went away thinking that if by chance I actually do get preggers at least I will have a really good story to tell my child about how much we wanted him/her.

To be honest the shot sucks, I feel slightly (lol) emotional and I'm surrounded by family, which leads to a fun mix to say the least!!! "May the force be with me!!!" Anyways I made an amazing dinner last night:

Chopped salad with cajun grilled shrimp and bloody mary sauce
Lemon Butter Grilled Mahi-Mahi
Smashed Potatoes
Oven roasted Asparagus

Yum so good!!

And now Im heading off for a run... to work off that lemon butter sauce!! Ill check back in later...

xoxo chef a

The Toe

On the IPOD "That's Not My Name" by: The Ting Tings

This morning was one of those mornings where you wake up super early and you think about getting up and taking care of all kinds of things but then you fall back asleep only to wake up late!!! Soooo late that you pick up the closest thing to you to wear and hope that it matches... (at least I always have various pieces of clothing in the car just in case!) So I ended up in the car with a tank top and a mini skirt on and lets just say it was a tad cold!!! I found a bra and some yoga pants in my gym bag in the back seat and managed to slip them on in the parking lot of the first grocery store that I got to. (No unfortunately I can't say that this is the first time that I have gotten dressed in the morning in a parking lot!)

The reason I was in such a rush is because the Tuesday after spring break seems to always be the most ridiculous cook day...

Matzoh Ball Soup
Jalapeno Chicken
Fajita Chicken
Blackened Chicken
Marinated Flank Steak
Pan-Seared Filet Mignon
Salisbury Steak with Red Wine Marinated Button Mushrooms
Egg Salad
Cucumber Salad
Mixed Berries
Crispy Beef Tacos
Jalapeno Cheese Sausages
Oven Fried Chicken Drummettes
Pasta Primavera with a Spicy Tomato Basil Sauce
Pecan Crusted Tilapia
Chopped Salad with celery, cucumbers, carrots, mixed bell peppers, tomatoes, mozzarella, hard boiled eggs, cauliflower and a Garlic Dijon Vinaigrette
and ridiculous amounts of vegetable side dishes

I just got tired again trying to remember everything I cooked today!!

So, as you know I have really been pushing my comfort levels in the last couple of weeks... And the time came for me to actually try to wear a different color other than black.

On Monday morning, I wore a grey pair of pants to Nia and although I felt a little weird I handled it ok and was even able to forget that I was wearing them halfway through class.

Today was a completely different story... After work I took a much needed shower and then decided to try on the dark maroon colored dance pants that have been staring me in the face for the last few weeks. I slipped them on and off about 4 times before just deciding to go to class. Right before I left the house I switched tank tops (terrible idea!) When I got to Nia I immediately felt like slipping out of my own skin...

First off the tank top was wayyyyyyy too short! I slowly walked to the back of the room and took my old place as a "back row bitch". I was very honest with my friends that I was feeling a little uncomfortable...and I tried to stop thinking about it but then it happened... While we were turning I noticed something that by all accounts was maybe the worst thing I have ever seen in my life!!!! I had the dreaded camel toe! As quickly as possible I tried to adjust my tank top so that it would stretch lower...I'm pretty sure I even broke some of the stitching... Nothing was helping....the more we moved the higher it went. I tried to stop it! Between each dance move I pulled and yanked but nothing was working. I tried to tell myself that nobody cared but it didn't matter... I cared! The worst part about it was that Jule's playlist in class was incredible and I couldn't even enjoy it because all I could see was my worst enemy!!!!

I could not get out of class quick enough...I mean it was like the floor was on fire or something. My friend Arlene even called me to make sure everything was ok... I just have to say that I have never been happier to see my wonderful, loyal, incredible, stupendous black pants all lined up in a row waiting for me to come back home.

Don't worry maroon pants...I'll give you another shot...I just have to find a very long tank top!

xoxo chef a

Hoop, Hoop, Drop!!

On the IPOD "And the Birds Sing" by: Tyrone Wells

First of all thank you so much for your comments yesterday. It really does make my day to hear from you!

Well yesterday I took a Lenny Kravitz Hoop Nia class, like hoop as in hoola hoop mixed with Nia and all to the music of Lenny Kravitz. Lets just say the entire class got real tired of hearing my hoop hit the floor. I'm a star hooper on the Wii fit but obviously when hooping actually entails a real hoop, my skills are less than adequate. I'm by no means giving up...I even kept the hoop up for like 10 seconds but then my core pretty much gave me the finger! It was fun though...I'm always up for a new experience especially when there happens to be good music involved!

After class, I went to help my mom make a trial batch of a new flavor of jelly, "Extra Hot Hot Jalapeno" (My mom has a product line of gourmet jellies and sauces.) Just as I was filling the glass jar, it slipped out of my hand and slammed down against the hard floor. Thank goodness the glass didn't break, but when I say there was hot jelly everywhere, I mean there was hot jelly everywhere. All over me, all over the floor, and even all over the ceiling. After a good hour of cleaning I invited my mom to dinner at our house. The clumsiness didn't stop there...

A totally from scratch home cooked meal on the weekend is quite the anomaly at my house, but when I actually do cook, I tend to really cook. I decided that my husband deserved a traditional Italian Sunday dinner. While making the gravy ie: homemade marinara sauce, I managed to spill an entire bottle of crushed red pepper on the floor. As I was sweeping it up(not exactly my forte), I had an insane sneezing fit and actually had to step away from the kitchen for a good 15 minutes to compose myself! Dinner ended up being great except for the fact that Mike and my mom caught on to the fact that the pasta was multi-grain...Ha ha, I tried!

My streak of clumsiness hopefully came to an end this morning when I opened the back of my car only to not catch a bottle of jalapenoes rolling out and crashing on the ground...Obviously jalapenoes and I are not friends at the moment! Im going to go ahead and blame everything on the time change...

xoxo chef a