Saturday, September 4, 2010

Deep breaths

On the IPOD "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" By: The Smiths

How is it possible that I could love a man so much yet be on such a different page regarding our child's name??

This question has unfortunately left me in tears for the better part of two day... I'm sure it is not the only is a mixture of hormones, pressure, and of course some body image issues all rolled up together...

But I'm pretty sure I've got a problem when it's midnight and I'm typing into "Google", "Is it normal to be crying so much at 5 months pregnant?"

This morning, crying was pretty much the first thing I did...I don't really know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself to find this perfect name that makes our entire family happy and that honors all the people we are supposed to... At first I thought that by honoring someone in my son's name it will somehow help him to remember the great men who came before him, but in realty our son will know the great men because we will take time to tell him stories about them. By using someone's name it is not like it somehow brings them back, but yet it still pulls at my heartstrings to not do it. Mike on the other hand thinks that our child deserves his own identity with no connection to anyone or anything (well except when we thought it was a girl because then all of the sudden "Sofia Vergara" sounded like a perfect name! Just kidding, kind of...). The hard part is that I do want my child to have his own identity, but I think there can be a compromise. I guess we will see what happens...

I'm going to try to de-stress myself at Nia this morning and hopefully gain some sort of peace regarding all things baby. As far as I'm concerned the only thing that might make me feel better is a really nice dinner... Maybe my husband will get the hint! Until Nia I plan to mope on the couch with my favorite blanket and eat some cereal.

Until tomorrow...
Xoxo chef a

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