Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fear (revisited)

On the IPOD "Fear" by: Sarah McLachlan

I have already discussed the topic of fear, but I'm back again...
How do you deal with fear?

I have to start out by saying that I'm a natural's what I do. I could worry about the wall if I tried. The anxiety I feel has been passed down many generations, it's like the present that everybody gets but nobody wants. And I'm pretty sure that anxiety is what is waking me up at 4 in the morning everyday.

When I think about getting pregnant these are the fears I have...
1. What if something happens, and I have to go through all of the sadness again?
2. How will I control my weight when I am not in charge of my own body?
3. How will I focus in dance class if I'm constantly worried about hurting the baby?
4. Is there such a thing as enough money??? (I think this is a normal one)
5. How will I ever stop worrying?

Those are the top 5 although there are many more that come in and out of my head. And I'm not saying that any of my fears are irrational. I just want to learn how to turn it off from time to time. I do think a healthy amount of fear is good for pushes you and helps you to achieve your goals. But when it stifles you, that's a problem...

So I'm thinking about taking a course in meditation... I have a friend who recently took it and said it was amazing. I figure what do I have to lose?

So there was a request for a recipe:

Summer Vegetable Soup

2 cups celery, (I clean the whole bunch trim a 1/4 inch off the end and finely chop towards the heart using all of the leaves)
1 1/2 cups shredded carrots
1 large leek, split chopped and cleaned
2 32 oz boxes of chicken stock
2 16 oz cans diced tomatoes with basil and oregano
1 16 oz bag of frozen organic mixed vegetables
1 large zucchini, diced
Pepper to taste

I use a non stick soup pot, so that I don't have to add oil. Saute celery, carrots, and leeks over medium heat until soft. Add stock, tomatoes, and mixed vegetables. And bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a high simmer and cook about 30 minutes. Add zucchini and cook 5 min. more. Season with fresh ground pepper. I don't salt this soup because the stock and tomatoes both have enough salt but if you are using organic stock and tomatoes most likely you will need to add a little.

Oh, and my diet plan for the other day worked beautifully. It ended up being a great food day...I stayed on track, wasn't starving, and didn't really even snack!

xoxo chef a


sharyn said...

Your normal in every sense of the word. Everyone has stuff, so yours is anxiety, join the anxiety club. I believe that when you are a person who operates from a place of love, life just seems heavy all the time. Fortunately for us, I include myself in your category. The danger of this nature is the selflessness that comes along with the personality type. The constant battle to remember who number one is in order to be #2 for everyone else is a constant battle. So meditation, therapy, exercise, volunteering and outlets are necessary to find inner peace. Sounds like we need to have dinner. When can you.

ll.rountree said...

Becoming a mother was the most exciting, scariest, worrisome, ecstatic, happy, etc., etc., All of the fears you are experiencing are part of the process. I felt every one of the emotions you mentioned. I agree with Sharyn. Take Nia, volunteer, (Heather Spiller Gream teaches a birthing from within class @ Move for expectant moms and new moms and babies)try her classes, talk to other expectant moms. Take care of you first!!!!!!!
Happy journey!
Lisa Rountree