Friday, May 21, 2010


On the IPOD "The Blower's Daughter" by: Damien Rice

I'm sorry but I have to discuss something that is a bit off topic today. Mainly because I don't want to see this happen to someone else and if writing about an alternative might save someone's life then I have to do it.

On Wednesday night, my family lost one of our closest friends actually so close he was more like a part of our family. He fell into such a dark place that the only way he knew how to get out of it was to take his own life.

To be honest I don't understand suicide... One of my friends who has been in almost the same dark place tried to describe to me what a person in that condition is thinking. She said, "It's like their depression is a sickness and it's the only way they know how to stop the pain." This is my issue with it...First of all what makes someone think that when they die it will make that kind of pain go away? We are all in the same boat on this one...none of us really know what is going to happen after we die... But on the other hand their choice to end their pain causes a great deal of pain to their family and friends here, who have no choice but to live with it.

We are talking about an amazing 37 year old guy who was married and surrounded by friends. It saddens me to think that he didn't allow anyone in...He didn't ask for help or if he did it wasn't direct. He was truly one of the most hilarious and fun guys I have been lucky enough to meet in my life. And it just kills me that his beautiful wife is now left to pick up the pieces... I mean I can't even imagine.

My point in bringing this up is because I want to be clear to everyone who is reading this blog and who might be in some sort of despair. Suicide is not an answer. Please reach out to someone and let them know that you are in pain and need help so that you can be around to hear how much your friends and family care about you and we are not just telling each other. If you don't feel like you have someone to talk to please call:


There are professionals there who will listen to you and will get you the help you need.

Eric you are loved by so many and will be incredibly missed. I am so sorry that you were in such a terrible place. I hope that you have found the peace you were searching for and my heart breaks for your family...

xoxo chef a


ATR said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Amanda. A very important blog post. Thinking about you and everyone else who has been effected by this. Lots of love, Amy.

Anonymous said...

Your very sad story of your friend Eric was so touching yet, at the same time helpful to those in need. You should be proud of yourself Amanda, you have kept his spirit alive by spreading the word and offering helpful information to those in need or know someone that is. What a beautiful tribute to a friend that could not find his way…lets us hope he is at peace and his loved ones can find it also.
p.s. i figured out how to post a comment!

Anonymous said...

It is always hard to know, understand and live with the after effects of a loved one's suicide. You are left with many should haves, would haves and could haves. But the hard reality is that when someone wants to take their own life, they usually do, and it is those of us still here that are left reeling. I am so sorry for your loss, a loss I understand all too well. I am here if you need and or want to talk. I hope and pray that Eric's family will learn to live with this unbearable loss and find some measure of peace in the face of such darkness. Arlene