"Breathe in Hope, Breathe out Love"

On the IPOD "Clementine" By: Sarah Jaffe

I have been wrestling with writing about this... because honestly it's not my story...but there are bits and pieces of it that I think are so important that I'm going to stray from my normal topics and set down what now is to be my next post entitled "Levi's Favorite Things (a guide to what has worked for my kid)"

A little less than a week ago my facebook page was blown up with old friends stating only "Breathe In Hope, Breathe Out Love" as their status. It is the mantra of an amazing guy I went to high school with and who happened to date a very good friend of mine for a short time. I have known for about a year that he has been fighting cancer although I was not only unaware of how bad it really was but I was also unaware that he was chronicling his fight for life in a blog. Funny that I spend a ridiculous amount of time on here but have never seen it...makes you really realize how many blogs are out there...

Anyways I searched for his blog and found it quite easily. As I read the latest post my heart sank...

"I'm not sure if this is my last posting but if it is I want to thank everyone whom has helped me along the way, everyone whom has become inspired to make a difference, and everyone whom has changed their own lives to better take advantage of life's little opportunities and tiny miracles. It's not a goodbye but more of a see you later. It's truly been and honor and privilege"

I have know cancer, we are not friends, but I have never encountered the type of fight and determination that Jeff had to fight it. My Dad might have fought it in his own way but it was definitely much quieter... Maybe its a generational thing, but looking back it seems as if my dad gave his cancer to the doctors to fix instead of really taking the bull by the horns, they said jump and he jumped. But I guess people are just different...

Jeff was 30, had been married less than two years, was just really getting into the stride of his life and poof what at first was thought to be a sports injury quickly turned into the fight of his life.

After I read Jeff's blog I felt the need to leave a comment,

"Jeff- We have never run in the same circle although we went to school together and therefore have many overlapping rings. But I felt the need to tell you how your blog has changed my life... Over the last year I have heard about your fight although nothing led me here until yesterday afternoon when I saw the remarkable amount of posts from Facebook friends just stating "breathe in hope, breathe out love." ... As I sat on the couch with my almost 5 month old son Levi right next to me I read from beginning to end the tales of your courageous fight... I held Levi's tiny hand the entire time sometimes holding tighter.... I have to admit at times my mind raced back and forth between feeling for you, for Autumn, for your parents... I questioned my role as a mother, as a wife, and at times as a friend. In less than 24 hours you have made me want to fight for each day of my life... You have made me want to live a better life.... be a better wife, to be a better mother, to be a better daughter, to love harder than I ever thought possible. Thank you for letting me in... Thank you for fighting with passion and dignity. And most of all thank you for your courageous vulnerability. My love to you and everyone in your circle.
Breathe in hope, breathe out love!
Amanda"

Jeff's fight is the most perfect example of taking responsibility for what life throws at you. I beg of you to read it...it will most definitely change your life...

Jeff lost his fight on Monday night, just two short days after what ended up being his final post. My heart goes out to his family and friends as they celebrate his life today.

You can find Jeff's blog at www.jeffsfightwithcancer.blogspot.com

"Breathe in Hope, Breathe out love"

xoxo chef a

Happy Birthday Sharon!!

On the IPOD "And So It Goes" by: Billy Joel

I'm feeling a bit of mixed emotions at the moment...I just got back from an amazing Nia class and group dinner to celebrate Sharon's Birthday. Sharon is an amazingly strong unbelievable woman in my class who is fighting a very difficult battle with cancer.

Last week I made Sharon a playlist ie:mix tape for her to listen to during chemo. It wasn't just that I wanted to but more that I had to... After following her story and hearing about the infusion room which I remember way too well, all I could think about were the playlists still listed on my ipod under such titles as: For Daddy, Chemo, Joe Bill... What you don't know is that my Dad was the ultimate playlist maker. He made CDs for everyone of his friends and not just one but tons...He would usually put a picture of himself (Gotta love the narcissistic behavior) on the cover and either hand deliver or mail them all over the world. When he got sick, we bought him an Ipod...and when he felt the worst I would put together playlists of music for him and load it on to his very own ipod. Today when I go into the back rooms of my mom's house and still see the rows and rows of CDs, I feel a certain amount of comfort, knowing that these were his favorite things. My brothers and I feel like sometimes it is just too quiet in the house without the blare of music coming from the back...maybe that's why the music is so important to me in class...

I don't think my Dad ever accepted that he had cancer and that's what makes Sharon different. She is so incredibly positive about the situation, I mean are you kidding me she went from a chemo treatment to Nia class today! She said something last night that made me really think...She said that she doesn't understand why people refer to the chemo as poison, when what they should think is that how could you call something poison that is going to save your life! My Dad called it poison hopefully that was his mistake and hopefully Sharon's incredibly positive spirit will cure her.

All I know is that seeing this woman, who is fighting for her life, dance is one of the most inspiring things I think that I have ever been lucky enough to witness. Chances are that Sharon will receive many more playlists from me...I mean I am my father's child.

This all kind of makes it silly that I'm still somewhat worried about the 2 ounces of salad dressing that I used at dinner!

I'm giving you one of my favorite recipes...It is a weight watchers recipe that I have tweaked a little bit.

Jalapeno Chicken

4 Servings or more

8 4oz thin chicken breasts
4 tsp or 1 package of low sodium taco seasoning (homemade if you want)
1 tsp of olive oil
4-6 ounces of really good pepperjack cheese

Heat grill or (non-stick saute pan). Trim chicken well and mix with the oil or a little bit of cooking spray and taco seasoning in a plastic bag. Grill chicken about 3-4 minutes on each side or until nicely marked and cooked through but not dry (times many very based on thickness of the chicken.) Place in a glass pyrex dish and cover with shredded cheese. You can either bake now or prepare up to this point and heat to serve later.

Bake at 350* for 10-15 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly and chicken is hot.

Hope everyone has a great day!

xoxo chef a