Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Attack Of The Maternity Pants

On the IPOD "Every Girl Like Me" By: Sugarland

Have you ever tried to put on a pair of maternity pants when you couldn't really see your feet? I'm going to go ahead and say that if you haven't been pregnant you haven't experienced this one...just a guess. Well let me try to set it up for you... Imagine a pair of really nice black maternity slacks... long regular pants with a strange 8 inch band of foreign stretchy material at the top that make them look like they are a size 0... At first you might even think, "Ya there is no way those are going to fit over this!" But oddly enough when you try them on in the store at about 6 months pregnant they work and have plenty of room for growing so you buy them and think these are gonna be great. You take them home and hang them up for your next big event and return to your $20 yoga pants that still fit. Now all of the sudden something happens when you hit your seventh month... one morning you just wake up and suddenly your view has changed from admiring your feet to instead stretching to see your toe nail polish color. But as far as your concerned nothing has really changed you're still your usual limber self just with a limited view.

Well let me explain the wake up call when you pull those beautiful expensive maternity slacks out for a spin... Lets just say they should have a warning on them saying "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PUT THESE ON WHILE STANDING UP!" Because there is nothing cute about a really pregnant girl trying to find the leg holes in pants where the elastic top shrinks to a size 0 while not on your body! It could actually be a really funny youtube video, but probably not the best idea for you or your unborn child. And let me assure you if it was this hard to put on the pants today...I can't imagine what it will be like in a month or two. So in conclusion I have found yet another unexpected danger while carrying a child...It seems as if everything could harm your baby's health even getting dressed! Next time I will try to put the pants on while sitting down so that at least the hardest task will be lifting myself off of the couch instead of tripping over my own feet and landing on the floor!

Ah if only the house was rigged with cameras so that I could win a million dollars on "America's Funniest Home Videos" ...

Have a great day everyone!

xoxo chef a


Anonymous said...

oh my goodness. i was laughing so hard i started crying. I hate to tell you but eventually you will have to forgo sitting down & resort to lying flat in bed while wriggling like a worm.

Mrs.Phillips said...

I feel you girl...just wait until you are 9+ months pregnant and you HAVE to have lotion on your feet after the shower and your husband is no where in site, now that is a youtube video for sure! (and that is how my water broke!)

Mrs.Phillips said...

Oh, and then a year from now you'll forget all of this and want to do it again! I do!!!!!

Amanda said...

Hehehe!!! Oh this post makes me want to have more kids while simultaneously being grateful that won't happen!

Enjoy... the lunacy only grows :D

Debbie said...

you crack me up :)