Thursday, September 4, 2014

I'm so sorry you are hurt, here's a cookie...

On the ipod "Brave" by: Sara Bareilles

So here I am again... Last Friday after I dropped Levi off at school, I walked through the lower school to get to the school store. As I was walking, there was a slightly chubby girl about 9 years old hysterically crying and holding onto her mom. She was pulling out the big guns, "Mom, don't leave...I love you...please, please don't leave me here!" Oddly enough I was this girl...I was 9 once upon a time and had awful separation anxiety, I'm actually not sure how my mom survived it! But what this little girl's mom said in response to her is what really struck me. As I turned the corner I heard these words, "Honey, if you just stop crying and go in I will get you ice cream right after school."

I kept walking so I really cant tell you how it ended, but what I can say is those words stuck with me all day... It's not that I think the mom is a bad mom or that by her using sweets as a reward she is trying to screw her kid up, but the reason it hit me so hard is because I was that little girl and in some ways I still am. I joke with my family and friends that I can come up with a reason everyday why I deserve a treat. Something special to make me feel special I guess... It goes back to this..."Oh, you scraped you knee sweetie, here's a cookie!"

I'm by no means trying to call this woman out. I do the same thing its just Levi's bargaining tool is the Ipad. The kid could watch YouTube videos all day! I am fortunate that Levi doesn't have the same food issues I have... But listening to the mother/daughter exchange and then really thinking about my relationship with food and well Levi's relationship with the ipad, I couldn't help but think... what is it that we are all really looking for?.

What do we really need when we are finding comfort in say... anything. How could my relationship with my kids change if instead of giving them a cookie or an ipad, I gave them my time. Real time...the kind that doesn't include cell phones or TV...or grilled cheese and cupcakes. But instead just me... maybe we will just talk or maybe we will build the highest tower... the possibilities are endless. I don't really know if its the answer but I know too well that the ice cream after school won't really make the little girl any braver and in actuality it might lead to the biggest weakness of her life.

xoxo chef a