Finding a place

On the iPod, "When the Right One Comes Along" By Sam Palladio

There's something about the sound of the chord progression on a guitar. I can't even really put it into words...the notes go higher and lower and then back again and the sound is so vibrant that you can actually feel the musician's finger tips slide across the frets. For me it's euphoric...

I have been trying to find my place at Levi's school... I haven't really figured it out yet. There are a handful of people I have a connection with... One of which I would even say is sort of magical and will hopefully be a friend for life. But the whole experience makes me think back to high school and I try to imagine how people might remember me and if that is so different from who I am now.

Now I'm a mom and a wife and a chef.  But in the back of the closet in the playroom there sits a guitar that used to define me. I mean my senior pictures were with that guitar. I spent a lot of time with that guitar... writing songs about really important things like love and loss and even possibly a song about smoking pot and saving the world that I sang at the talent show of a highly respected college prep school that will remain unnamed for the time being out of respect for that fine institution... A 12-string Taylor was the epitome of who I was... well really of who I am. In a lot of ways at that time it was a security for me. It set me apart from the pack... And I was oddly comfortable with that. So since I can't walk around with a guitar strapped to me I have to get to a place of being comfortable without a safety net.

One of my friends said that making friends as an adult is like dating... You have specific traits that you look for and you really just aren't interested in the bullshit. You want someone who has your back and is willing to put the time and effort into creating a real, lasting friendship and not just another acquaintance. Because acquaintances are just overrated...  So I will continue to be exactly who I am and I will let in the special ones who get me.  I might never really find my place at any school my kids go to... But instead will continue to have special "go to" people in my life who I respect and who respect me as well. Because it's not really about how many friends you have at this age but more importantly the quality of the friend...

xoxo chef a

Sunday Suppers

On the iPod "Frim Fram Sauce" By: Diana Krall

So there are certain things I miss about working in restaurants... I would be lying if I didn't admit to missing the array of really bad dirty jokes that I would hear nightly (the untold perk of being the only girl in the kitchen most days) but more than that I miss "Sunday Dinners".  "Sunday Dinners" consisted of a bunch of cooks throwing some stuff together and making really amazing meals that fed your tummy as much as they fed your soul. It was a time when the staff spent quality time together working on new ideas that weren't quite ready for the general public. 

I've been working through some thoughts in my head of how to fit it in to our life today. The realities of our life are that we have two boys who we love dearly and who run the show in a lot of ways. Mike and I work opposite schedules and Sunday is really our only day off together. The day is just wasted and in general I feel like I'm living in a hamster wheel just spinning and spinning but not able to enjoy the small things that made me want to cook for a living... I want to change that. 

2 short years ago our life was very different, levi was a restaurant kid. I literally took him everywhere with me. He would go to chef meetings at the best restaurants in town (sometimes ordering the most expensive thing on he menu), he never had a normal bedtime (and always took an amazing 3 hour nap in the afternoon), he was very comfortable at white tablecloth restaurants and barely every complained as long as I kept him pretty occupied. Luca is a different kid.... Luca still takes two 2 hour naps a day and goes to sleep at 7:15pm (I can push him till 8 but it's hard) and will sleep till almost 8 am if I let him. The time he is awake is non-stop action... The kid doesn't take a break. When we cut Levi's nap out in the fall things have just really become more difficult.  If we do take them both to dinner it has to be at 5-5:30 and we have to be home at 7. If not it is just not enjoyable for anyone... 

So I thought... Wouldn't it be amazing to have a sunday supper at our house maybe once a month... Invite friends who would like to be a part of something amazing.... Try new recipes. A gourmet pot luck. Kids invited.  Some quality casual time with friends. I'm aware it could be a disaster... There might be rough play, drink stealing, disagreements and a huge mess... And then there's the kids...Just kidding!  But I honestly need something and I'm hoping this is the start of something kind of spectacular. 

I'm not sure of the nitty gritty details yet. But it is in the works. My wheels are turning. Tables are being set. Menus are being planned... This will happen.... Soon. 

Xoxo chef a