On the iPod, “Be Alright” by: Dean Lewis
Screw the bitch who ever said that time heals all wounds. The reality is that the pain from trauma ebbs and flows. Maybe it was loss or abuse or betrayal. Maybe you have just tried to ignore it. Maybe you’ve done everything in your power to own it and work through it. But maybe it still takes your breath away.
The hard part is that It can hit you sideways, be right straight in front of you or blindside you from the back. It could be triggered by a song on the radio, a season of the year or a picture you find at the bottom of the drawer. But once you have entered the rabbit hole it’s a struggle to find your way out. I once told a friend of mine who was stuck in her own rabbit hole that getting out is almost harder than being in because there begins to be a comfort in the pain. The pain begins to feel like living if that makes sense. I mean we all know that it’s an illusion.... Being alive isn’t just the pain. It’s the pain, and the happiness, and the fear, and the joy, and the regret, and the hope, and the anger, and the love. It’s all of it. This post isn’t really just about me and my rabbit hole. Or the fact that I’ve listened to the same song 54 times today. It’s about you, the one out there thinking that you are the only one in the carpool line that is wading through the shit... whether it happened 30 years ago, 7 years ago, 6 months ago or if you are living in it this minute. Just know that it might never go away but you are never alone. Find your people. Find the ones who know your soul or want to know your soul. Who listen to your stories. Who help you back up. That is living.
Love,
Me
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