More and Enough

On the IPAD  " I Won't Give Up" By: Jason Mraz

 I wish I even had the words to write everything on my mind but it's just a mess up there... Levi has been fighting RSV for the last 10 days and it's been awful.  Of all of the wonderful things I could have passed down to my child he was lucky enough to get my asthmatic lungs, which is just not even fair! So we have been to a doctor literally everyday for the last week and have been doing breathing treatments nonstop and forcing all kinds of wonderful meds down his throat.  I mean it's been one complication after another from double ear infections to throwing up to refusing to eat and drink all together... I'm hoping he is finally over it, but I hate to even say those words aloud...

On another note I'm still the mess I was from the last post, although a skinnier version... I swear I've never worked out so much in my life. I'm even contemplating adding a boot camp to the weekly mix!  I will say that I'm a stronger mess this week... I'm actually seeing some value in myself which is an old friend who hasn't been around for awhile lol. 

What is funny is that in the past I could've easily given a friend advise on how to deal with the situations I'm in but being in it makes it totally different and much more complicated...  I think it's always easier to judge as an outsider... 

Anyways in Nia class with Jule recently we had an interesting focus...  It was the idea of more and enough... And it pretty much translates to all parts of life... I take it to mean that you push yourself until you reach that point of enough.  Let's take for example running... Running scares me... It's  very difficult to run with boobs and being overweight doesn't make things much easier.  So when my trainer Shawn told me we would be doing some running sprints a couple of weeks ago, I was like great I'm never going to make it... But I did. I'm not going to lie and say it left me wanting more... I definitely reached my point of enough back then, but this past Monday I ran for 5 minutes. And although that doesn't sound like much to you ... To me it's pretty freaking fantastic!  And more importantly it left me wanting more...

Unfortunately the idea of more and enough doesn't only translate to positive stuff,  it can also hit you below the belt... I'm fighting with more and enough right now... More doesn't always have to mean that you are wanting more... Sometimes you don't ask for it but it just keeps coming and then you have to find your white flag and raise it when you have reached enough... And sometimes when you think that even the idea of more is just too much...you still can't manage say enough... And what does that really say about you?  Lol don't answer that, it was purely a hypothetical question... 

 I guess the moral to this thought is that more and enough are always there, sometimes you are looking for them and sometimes you wish that you could just run away from them but at the end of the day we each have our little white flags you just have to be willing to be true to yourself and realize when enough is enough!

Xoxo chef a